ADHD Phone Addiction and How Your Device is Changing Your Brain
You already know your phone is a problem. You've told yourself you'll scroll less, set the screen time limits, and maybe even delete the apps for a few days. And somehow, you're still here, phone in hand, 40 minutes deeper into a feed you don't even remember opening.
That's not a willpower issue. For the ADHD brain, especially a dysregulated one, the phone isn't just a distraction. It's a nervous system pacifier, and it's been engineered to stay that way. The entire business model of social media is your attention, and for a brain that's already hungry for dopamine and relief from discomfort, that's not a fair fight.
This episode is about ADHD phone addiction: why it hits differently for our brains, what it's quietly doing to your attention span and your capacity, and what you can actually do about it without shame, without going cold turkey, and without throwing your phone into a lake.
Here's what we cover:
Why ADHD phone addiction is a nervous system response, not a discipline problem, and what your brain is really seeking when you reach for the scroll
How the "alternative effect" lowers your capacity and motivation the moment your phone is within reach
What a radical approach to separating your technology looks like, and why it might be the only thing that's worked for people who've tried everything else
How apps like Clear Space create friction between you and social media, and why friction is the whole point
Why watching TikTok on 2x speed is a sign of dysregulation, not efficiency, and what it's training your brain to need
The entertainment ladder: how to stretch your attention span one rung at a time without shame or all-or-nothing thinking
How reducing screen time for ADHD starts with curiosity, not judgment, and why observation is the first real step
This one is for you if you've cycled through every screen time limit your phone has to offer, you know that social media and ADHD aren't a great combination, but can't seem to create any real distance, and you're ready to look honestly at your phone use without the guilt spiral long enough to actually try something different.
"When everything's in one bundle, that's a recipe for addiction."
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More about ADHD with Jenna Free
ADHD with Jenna Free is a podcast for adults with ADHD who are done surviving their symptoms and ready to start thriving with ADHD without the endless tips, hacks, and workarounds that have never really fixed anything.
Hosted by Jenna Free, a Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC) and ADHD therapist, this show exists to give you a completely different way of understanding ADHD in adults and the signs of ADHD in women. Because the reason you're stuck, overwhelmed, and exhausted isn't a lack of willpower, it's that your brain is running in fight or flight. And once you understand that, everything changes.
This podcast covers the full experience of living with adult ADHD: the real science behind procrastination in ADHD and ADHD task paralysis, ADHD executive functioning strategies that work, why ADHD and perimenopause collide in ways no one talks about, and the honest, solution-focused conversations that most ADHD podcasts aren't having. Jenna also shares her own story, what it looks like to go from chronically dysregulated to genuinely thriving, so you can see that this is possible for you.
This show gives women with ADHD, and anyone who has ever wondered whether ADHD can be diagnosed in adulthood, a path forward that isn't about coping harder, but healing.
I’ll answer questions like:
Do I have ADHD?
What is ADHD task paralysis, and how do I get unstuck?
Why is my ADHD getting worse in my 40s?
What does ADHD and perimenopause do to your brain?
How do I manage ADHD emotional dysregulation without medication alone?
Why do I procrastinate so much with ADHD?
Why don't ADHD tips and tricks ever work long-term?
What does it look like to thrive with ADHD
Can you heal ADHD symptoms without just white-knuckling through life?
What does nervous system regulation have to do with ADHD?
How do I stop feeling overwhelmed with ADHD?
If you're an adult with ADHD who's tired of the commiseration and ready for a show that believes your life can look completely different, you're in the right place.
The unedited transcript for this episode of ADHD with Jenna
Facing Smartphone Addiction and ADHD
[00:00:21] Because most of us are addicted. [00:00:23] And honestly, even to face this topic can be very dysregulating because it might be a coping mechanism you're currently using. [00:00:34] And we also can feel shame and guilt about using it so much. [00:00:39] But take a deep breath, get a little bit regulated. [00:00:42] It's okay. [00:00:43] We're just gonna play with it. [00:00:46] We're just gonna talk about it, explore it a little bit. [00:00:49] I'm not gonna be cruel.
Why Smartphones are Addictive—Especially for ADHD Brains
[00:00:52] Okay, so smartphones, we know especially scrolling is made to be addictive, right? [00:00:59] The whole point of them is to keep our attention because the commodity of social media is attention, right? [00:01:09] So the more you view, the more you stay there, the more you scroll. [00:01:14] That is the commodity. [00:01:16] If they're not selling something to you, the thing they're trying to get is your attention. [00:01:21] So that's what it's designed to do. [00:01:22] It's designed to be addictive. [00:01:23] It's on purpose. [00:01:25] And for the ADHD brain, Ooh, Especially a dysregulated ADHD brain, very, very addictive. [00:01:34] And when I say addictive, obviously it's a little bit different than becoming reliant on a substance, but it is addictive in the way of.
[00:01:42] I'm sure you've tried to reduce your scrolling or screen time. [00:01:47] And how long did that last? [00:01:48] How hard was that? [00:01:49] I know it's still something I'm always grappling with. [00:01:52] So I'm not here to say I have all the answers and I'm high and mighty and not using my smartphone and not scrolling. [00:01:58] But I am very aware that it is never helping our ADHD symptoms. [00:02:04] And we can work on this and we can make it better. [00:02:09] So I have a few points to talk about today. [00:02:12] We have some radical things, things we can do to work on our phone addiction. [00:02:17] We have some more gentle, tame ways of how to play with it.
Action Steps and Mindset Shifts
[00:02:21] So I will talk about some things we could actually do right away. [00:02:24] Action steps you can take. [00:02:25] If this is something you want to work on, even if it's not, please listen to this episode. [00:02:31] Even if you're like, there's nothing I'm doing with my phone, I am using it, how I'm using it, and you can't tell me what to do, that's totally fine. [00:02:37] I don't need you to take Action after this episode. [00:02:40] But I do want you to have these thoughts on your mind because you never know where that little seed is gonna grow, right? [00:02:46] Maybe in a year from now you're gonna be like, ah, I totally see what Jenna was saying that time in that episode. [00:02:53] You know those. [00:02:54] Even if you take one or two little points away and have something to think about, and in six months from now, it has you do something different than you would have normally, that's worth it.
[00:03:02] So please stick with me. [00:03:04] Okay? [00:03:05] Something I've really noticed about the ADHD brain is the alternative effect. [00:03:10] And here is where the downfall of us comes with, with scrolling as an option. [00:03:16] So the alternative effect is our capacity isn't always cut and dry. [00:03:24] Our capacity isn't always concrete. [00:03:27] Our capacity changes with the alternatives that are available to us. [00:03:31] A really good example of this was this time when it was really hot in the summer and my husband was like, oh, I'm going to take the boys to the park. [00:03:40] I have five and six year old boys.
[00:03:42] And I said, okay. [00:03:44] And I, I do. [00:03:45] I'm not a park mom. [00:03:46] I find it so boring. [00:03:48] I hate it. [00:03:49] And then in the heat, oh, really bad. [00:03:52] The older I get, I find I'm such a baby in the heat. [00:03:54] I used to love it, but okay, that's so, that's something I really didn't want to do.
The Alternative Effect: How Options Impact Capacity
[00:03:58] I really didn't want to go to the park on this super hot day. [00:04:02] So I said, okay, great, you go do that. [00:04:04] I'm going to clean out the car. [00:04:06] I had my, my headphones on, had my music on, got the vacuum out, got the sprays out, gonna wash the car. [00:04:12] All of a sudden I had energy to clean the car. [00:04:15] If you had said, okay, Jenna, you can either clean the car or go scroll on your phone. [00:04:20] All of a sudden I don't have capacity to clean the car, right? [00:04:23] Because I have the default, I have the option of scrolling on the phone. [00:04:26] But when the options are go to the hot park and sit there in a place that you really don't enjoy in the heat or enjoy your music, clean, do something productive.
[00:04:36] All of a sudden I have capacity for that. [00:04:37] So I really want you to observe when your phone is an option, does your capacity lower now? [00:04:44] All of a sudden I have less motivation to do things now. [00:04:47] I have less gumption, I have less physical energy. [00:04:50] All of a sudden, if I took that phone away, you might even just want to do a mental experiment this week. [00:04:55] One day, okay, if my phone was literally didn't exist and wasn't an option. [00:05:00] What would I do right now and maybe even try it, right? [00:05:03] Put it away for 10 minutes and just go. [00:05:06] Just observe your energy. [00:05:07] Observe what happens when it's not an option.
Experiments in Reducing Screen Time
[00:05:10] I also did, for one week I did no tv, no scrolling, which was TV is even bigger for me almost. [00:05:16] I love TV and I always have, but it doesn't give me the same problems that scrolling does. [00:05:22] But I did no tv, no scrolling for a week and of course I announced it on social media, I posted about it, so I had a little bit more motivation to stick to it, which is why I was able to do that for a whole week. [00:05:34] And I really noticed, wow, my creativity went up, my energy went up. [00:05:39] I was just doing things around the house because what else am I going to do? [00:05:42] That alternative effect really kicked in and I was like, whoa. [00:05:47] Just that alone would have me be a more productive, engaged person in my home and in my life if I just didn't have the option of scrolling and watching tv. [00:05:58] Now I'm never going to cut TV out because I love tv, but if I did not rely on social media for my business, I would be off of it. [00:06:10] Maybe that's easier said than done because I do rely on it in my business, so I can't get off of it completely.
[00:06:16] But I will say I do go on it very little for personal reasons. [00:06:20] But the scrolling I do on my business account is definitely something, something I'm continuing to work on. [00:06:27] So I'm going to share ways of how you could work on it today. [00:06:31] First is that mental exercise. [00:06:33] Wow, if this was not an option, where would my brain go? [00:06:36] How would I feel? [00:06:37] What would my capacity be? [00:06:38] I want you to really try that out again, even for half an hour. [00:06:41] Really challenge yourself. [00:06:43] I think it might be interesting just to observe. [00:06:44] Go back to that phone use normal after that, just see.
Smartphones, Social Media, and Regulation
[00:06:48] So I think sometimes we don't realize how big of an impact it's making. [00:06:52] Now, I do want to go into a radical approach to ADHD and phone use and technology. [00:07:02] Now, the normal messaging these days is ADHDers, utilize the tech, get these apps, you know, use AI, all that stuff. [00:07:10] And I do agree in certain situations, especially AI, when it's like organize this or putting stuff into ChatGPT, I know there's environmental, F factors, all of that, but when it comes to smartphones, I think the best approach, if we were all into it and we were feeling radical and ready to be like F this, I'm over it, would be to separate your tech, meaning a phone should just be a phone MP3 player for music. [00:07:42] And I have and this is the journey that I'm on right now. [00:07:45] I'm going kind of more radical approach because I've tried all the more gentle approaches and it doesn't do all for me. [00:07:51] And you may find that for yourself too of like, okay, I've done all the apps, I've done all the, you know, the trying to balance it, trying to restrict myself. [00:08:01] For me it just doesn't work.
Trying a Radical Approach: Separating Technologies
[00:08:03] I need to start getting a little bit more radical in my approach and here's how I'm doing it. [00:08:07] This is just sharing an insight of maybe at some point you might be ready for this. [00:08:12] This is like after multiple years of grappling with my phone stuff. [00:08:16] So I'm not saying this is what you should be doing tomorrow, but separating your text a great way to start. [00:08:22] So one I do have a dumb phone that I've ordered. [00:08:24] It was a pre order phone. [00:08:26] It's called a light phone. [00:08:27] I think it's.
[00:08:28] It's the best one for me because it does have maps on it still, which I am hopeless when it comes to directions. [00:08:33] I need maps everywhere I go. [00:08:34] So I really like that. [00:08:36] And it has really good texting. [00:08:38] So it's not like that frustrating. [00:08:39] T9 I can't do that. [00:08:41] And it does have podcasts on it that you can load up to it. [00:08:45] So I do like those features of it.
Using MP3 Players and Other Tools
[00:08:46] It is more expensive dumb phone though. [00:08:48] But you could just get a flip phone, right? [00:08:50] A phone to text and call. [00:08:53] That's what it does. [00:08:55] Second item I did get and I know this is some of the stuff involves purchasing so not everyone can do this either. [00:09:02] But you could observe. [00:09:03] Maybe I could do one of these things. [00:09:05] If you're watching the video, I got this little mp3 player. [00:09:10] It was I think $60 Canadian.
[00:09:13] So pretty reasonable. [00:09:15] And what I really like about it is I'm a big Spotify gal. [00:09:19] I've really. [00:09:19] I listen to a lot of podcasts and audiobooks and listen to music on Spotify. [00:09:26] So that wasn't something I was willing to totally let go of with getting a dumb phone which is just a phone that's not a smartphone, doesn't have Internet and apps. [00:09:36] So this little MP3 player, I'm showing it on the video if you're watching the video on Spotify or YouTube but is so cute. [00:09:42] It just has for mine all I have on it is Spotify and audible. [00:09:47] So it's got my music, it's got my audiobooks and it has my podcasts I really love this because if you're a big music person, this is something where you could say you're going to the gym.
Practical Tips for Reducing Smartphone Dependency
[00:09:58] You could just use this and leave your phone in your locker. [00:10:02] Or just use this and go for a walk so you're having the thing you want without the distraction of the phone. [00:10:11] Then you have a bit of spaciousness away from your phone while still not going so drastic where it's like, okay, be in silence all the time and never have your music available to you. [00:10:20] So this is just to show. [00:10:22] I'm just showing on the video. [00:10:24] It's just this teeny tiny screen, so it's definitely not engaging. [00:10:27] You could technically get any apps on here, so you could put TikTok on here, but I don't even know how that would be possible on this tiny screen. [00:10:33] But this is another great thing to think about.
[00:10:35] MP3 player. [00:10:37] We're kind of going back, especially for us that grew up without smartphones. [00:10:41] So dumb phone. [00:10:42] Phone just for a phone. [00:10:43] MP3 or player for music. [00:10:46] I am getting a home phone in my family so my kids can call their grandparents. [00:10:51] It's just another way to start separating the technology instead of it all being in this one brick, because it's. [00:10:59] That's a recipe for addiction.
[00:11:02] And if it's your phone and it's your music and it's your scrolling and it's your GPS and it's everything in one, how are you ever gonna put it down or create some distance from it? [00:11:13] I also got a record player for Christmas. [00:11:15] That was my thing of I really want to slow down. [00:11:19] And that's a beautiful way to listen to music. [00:11:21] And it makes you slow down right after four songs, you have to flip it over, set the needle, do it, put it. [00:11:30] Take the record out, put it back in. [00:11:33] So that's a kind of a neat thing to think about. [00:11:35] And then also, you could get a separate GPS device for your car. [00:11:39] Or many cars have GPS in them where you can just enter the address if you didn't have anything with gps and you need that.
How to Start Separating from Your Smartphone
[00:11:46] For me, maps is a big, big thing. [00:11:49] So that is a little bit more of a radical approach. [00:11:53] Again, I understand it requires some purchasing, but I bet a lot of that stuff you could even get secondhand, like a little mp3 player. [00:12:02] Dumb phone. [00:12:02] Dumb phones can be like 20 bucks if you truly just have, like, a flip phone. [00:12:06] Home phone's very affordable. [00:12:07] I think it's like $3 a month or something. [00:12:09] On our plan that we switch to to have the home phone service lots of record players out there, used and even small ones, and GPS devices, you can find many secondhand as well.
Flexible, Gentle Approaches to Limit Phone Usage
[00:12:20] So you could just observe and think, maybe what's one element of my smartphone I could detach so that at times I can leave the smartphone behind. [00:12:30] And an MP3 player might be a great place to start because I envision it like for me, if it's going on walks, going to the gym, exercising, even at work, right? [00:12:40] Instead of having your phone out and listening to it, if you listen to music while you work, you could just have the MP3 player out and put the phone away. [00:12:48] It's just the practice of separation from you and this damn thing that's so addictive, right? [00:12:54] Because I really want you to observe. [00:12:55] You probably carry it around your house everywhere you go, right? [00:12:57] It's in our hands all day, the time. [00:13:00] And that makes it very, very hard to restrain from getting sucked into the scrolling. [00:13:05] So as you're working, if you find, oh my God, how did I even get here? [00:13:08] I've been scrolling for 20 minutes. [00:13:10] I didn't even remember picking up my phone. [00:13:12] That is the addiction, right? [00:13:14] And part of that addiction is because it soothes dysregulation.
[00:13:19] If we are overwhelmed, if we are feeling that discomfort of dysregulation, say at work or at home or we're just in anxiety and worried about stuff, oh my gosh, I can zone out and scroll, right? [00:13:30] And it's the quickness of it. [00:13:32] It's not like a movie where you have to. [00:13:34] It's a little bit calmer and you're paying attention a bit longer. [00:13:37] It is very quick, quick, quick, quick, quick. [00:13:39] And that is soothing, the dysregulation, you get that short term relief. [00:13:44] But I know for you, probably it's same as for me. [00:13:47] I feel way worse after I scroll for a long time, especially before bed. [00:13:51] And then I turn it off and try to sleep.
Being Honest About Scrolling Habits
[00:13:52] And my eyes hurt. [00:13:54] I get this like tension in my eyebrows. [00:13:56] I'm like, oh, I was scrolling too long and it doesn't feel good. [00:14:01] And I saw a YouTube video. [00:14:03] Sometimes I watch YouTube videos of like, I got rid of my phone and here's what happened. [00:14:07] And this one guy said, like, oh, try to explain what you did for the past hour when you're scrolling, it starts to get a little embarrassing. [00:14:14] Like I watched a video about hair growth and then I watched another hour of minute videos. [00:14:23] I don't remember what I watched.
Recognizing Value in Social Media—but Also Its Limits
[00:14:24] Like, it is really wow when you observe it. [00:14:27] I probably didn't learn anything. [00:14:28] The only thing I ever Learned from Tick Tock is what to buy. [00:14:32] It tends to tell me here, buy this, buy that, buy this hair product, buy this skin product, as opposed to actually learning things and, and maintaining them. [00:14:41] But another thing you might be thinking with social media that you're having a hard time letting go of is. [00:14:46] But social media made me realize I have adhd. [00:14:49] It's how I got here, it's how I got my diagnosis. [00:14:51] And we have this, like, little tinge of a positive thing that we got from social media.
Are You Implementing What You Learn on Social?
[00:14:56] But just because it did one nice thing for you doesn't mean it's worth getting sucked in for hours a day now because of that. [00:15:03] And you may have a lot of ADHD content in your feed, and this may be how you found me, and I'm appreciative of that and it has served you. [00:15:10] But if you get to a point where, ooh, scrolling in social media is now hurting me more than it's serving me, that's when we want to look at this stuff. [00:15:19] And right now, you might be getting a lot of that ADHD content, saving a lot of it, screenshotting a lot of it, but are you actually applying it? [00:15:27] Are you implementing the tools and strategies you're learning? [00:15:30] Hopefully on this podcast you are. [00:15:32] But, like, think of all the screenshots you have. [00:15:35] Think of all the posts you've saved on TikTok or Instagram. [00:15:40] Are you actually going back and doing it? [00:15:43] Learning to learn is more dysregulation, right? [00:15:48] I feel unsafe. [00:15:49] I need to know everything.
[00:15:50] I need to know. [00:15:50] I need to know. [00:15:51] Collecting information. [00:15:51] Collecting information. [00:15:53] It's almost like hoarding, right? [00:15:54] It's like intellectual hoarding. [00:15:56] I need to know everything. [00:15:57] I need to know everything. [00:15:58] I need all the tips and tricks.
[00:15:59] Okay, but are you utilizing them? [00:16:02] Probably not. [00:16:04] Because if you are implementing things, your best bet is to just do one small thing at a time. [00:16:12] Hopefully you're choosing regulation above all else because it really is going to make a difference. [00:16:16] And our conversation today is also about regulation. [00:16:18] Right? [00:16:19] Your phone is dysregulating you. [00:16:20] That phone addiction is very dysregulating, and we're going to be better off without it. [00:16:24] So how do we grapple with it? [00:16:25] What layers can you work on? [00:16:27] What awareness can you build? [00:16:29] How can we loosen this, the chains of this a little bit? [00:16:34] But if you're doing the whole tips, tricks, tools thing, how is that going? [00:16:40] Like, I really want you to look at your social media consumption. [00:16:43] Are you actually being changed by what you're learning? [00:16:47] Again, I totally get maybe you Found a coach on there.
[00:16:49] Maybe you got your diagnosis on there because you realize, oh my God, that's me. [00:16:53] And you went and got a diagnosis. [00:16:54] So there might be some real benefits it's given you up till now. [00:16:57] But where do we go from here? [00:16:59] At some point it's not helping anymore, right? [00:17:02] We're just getting the same information again and again and again. [00:17:05] All right, let's go and do some more flexible, gentle, less radical ways to cope with phone addiction and phone use. [00:17:13] So of course we have the things that are designed to reduce your usage of social media. [00:17:19] Okay, the first one I'll share is the Clear Space app. [00:17:22] I have found this to be very helpful.
Apps and Physical Tools to Limit Scrolling
[00:17:24] This is an app that really puts a lot of friction and resistance between you and going on social media. [00:17:30] So for me, I, when I was using that app, I'm not using it right now, but when I was using it, I had it set for 9 to 5 where my social media apps were open. [00:17:40] Cause I need to post and stuff for work. [00:17:43] But there's really no reason for me to be on social media outside of working hours because when I am, it's just for my own numbing. [00:17:51] It's for my, it's because I'm addicted. [00:17:53] It's for my own, you know, regulation. [00:17:56] It's not truly regulating, but it does make us more comfortable. [00:18:00] So I want to be off of it after 5pm and I want to be off of it on the weekend.
[00:18:04] So that's how I had it set. [00:18:05] And then when you try to go on it, when you have whatever hours you have set, you have to, it says like, are you sure? [00:18:12] Okay, take a deep breath. [00:18:13] And it get, makes you take a deep breath. [00:18:15] You have to wait probably a good 15 seconds. [00:18:18] It says, okay, how long do you want to go on? [00:18:20] And you can pick up the time allotment and then you finally get on and then what's so cool about it? [00:18:26] What, how. [00:18:27] Why it actually has worked for me in the past is it does just shut the app down after the time instead of going like, you know the pop up on the Apple feature where it's like limit your use. [00:18:37] There's an ignore button. [00:18:38] Do not give me an ignore button or I'm going to use it.
[00:18:41] So that's what I really like about the Clear Space app is after say the 20 minute session of social media, it just closes it. [00:18:48] And that's a really nice thing. [00:18:50] See, it's kind of like, oh, it's so much work to get back on that I'll tend to be like, okay, fine, so that's a great way to limit your use. [00:18:56] The second are physical apps, I guess now like there's one called the brick where you have to physically take your phone up to this little device and tap it on in order to open it up again. [00:19:08] And that's another thing you could try. [00:19:10] But again, both of those things have not done enough for me. [00:19:15] Those might be a great start. [00:19:16] If you've had nothing kind of limiting your social media use, that would be a really good place to start.
[00:19:23] So there's a little bit of flexible thinking with separating your tech. [00:19:26] Like, oh, let's get creative, creative thinking. [00:19:28] How could I have these features in different ways? [00:19:32] But it's a little all or nothing, right? [00:19:35] It's like, I don't want a smartphone at all. [00:19:36] How could I do this? [00:19:38] So to get just a little bit more tame, here are some things you could do to be flexible with your phone use, but start dialing it down and getting more regulated with it. [00:19:51] The first is 2x on TikTok. [00:19:53] If you are watching your social media on 2times speed, we are in very big dysregulation, right? [00:20:01] I can't even watch a one minute video at normal speed. [00:20:04] There is no guilt or shame involved in this whatsoever. [00:20:07] I'm just saying we can observe that.
Observation and Mindful Phone Use Strategies
[00:20:10] Okay? [00:20:11] My impatience is getting so intense. [00:20:13] I'm in such a rush. [00:20:16] Because that is being in a rush, right? [00:20:18] And we're working on it. [00:20:19] There's no rush. [00:20:21] I am in such a rush. [00:20:22] I can't watch this one minute video at normal speed. [00:20:26] I need this one minute video to only be 30 seconds. [00:20:29] That shows a lot of dysregulation and that's okay.
[00:20:33] But we can observe that and be aware of it. [00:20:35] So scroll how you've been scrolling, but don't use 2x. [00:20:38] That is a great step in the right direction, right? [00:20:41] We're training the brain to be more patient. [00:20:44] Because you may notice you used to be able to read before you got a smartphone, then you got a smartphone, then, okay, I can watch YouTube videos. [00:20:53] I got the patience for a movie and TV. [00:20:55] And now all of a sudden, you know, it gets like rushed more and more and more and more and more and more. [00:21:00] Now we can't watch a one minute video. [00:21:04] It's not, it's not fast enough.
[00:21:05] Come on, come on, let's go, let's go, let's go. [00:21:06] So I just really want you to observe that. [00:21:09] Another thing you could do to be more flexible and dial it back would be only one screen at a time. [00:21:15] So instead of watching TV and being on your phone, which again, I'm not saying I'm above all this and I don't do this either, but we want to be aware of it. [00:21:22] So we don't just dive into all this and think that, oh, it's just how it is. [00:21:27] My ADHD brain, I need all this stimulation and I need to be in a rush. [00:21:31] No, it can get way better, but we got to be conscious of it and work on it a little bit. [00:21:37] So one screen at a time.
[00:21:38] So if you're choosing to watch tv, try to put that phone down. [00:21:41] If you're going to be on your phone, pause the tv. [00:21:43] Right? [00:21:43] I do that quite a bit as seeing as my dumb phone hasn't come yet, I really wish it would come, but with all this trade stuff, it's delayed being able to. [00:21:53] If you decided, okay, I'm on TikTok right now, pause that show, pause the movie, don't have two screens going at once because that's just training your brain to need so much stimulation that you can't do slower, calmer activities anymore. [00:22:09] Another interesting way to use social media a little bit more flexibly would be to search for what you want to look at instead of just having it feed you videos on your homepage or on your for you page. [00:22:23] Meaning what do you want to see content on? [00:22:26] Put it in the search and use it as a search engine. [00:22:29] Almost like Google. [00:22:30] Not like as a passive, oh, feed me information algorithm.
Intentional Social Media Consumption
[00:22:36] Of course we're gonna do that, but maybe once in a while, say, okay, I'm gonna go on social media, but let me look up, blah, blah, blah, whatever it is you're interested in. [00:22:45] It might be, you know, movie reviews, it might be. [00:22:48] For me, I am getting my microblading removed and my eyebrows are currently yellow. [00:22:53] So I've been doing a lot of searching of like how to remove yellow, microblading, color, things like that. [00:22:59] Or might be skin care, it might be comedy, it might be animal videos. [00:23:04] Whatever it is, put something in the search bar and go seek content. [00:23:09] Instead of being a passive consumer of content that is given to you, especially if your algorithm has been off, you know, sometimes they go negative or sometimes you watch one thing too long and now it's giving you more of that and it's like, oh, this is actually not pleasant. [00:23:22] Go search something.
Entertainment Ladder: Retrain Your Brain
[00:23:24] All right, and the last one is Entertainment Ladder. [00:23:29] This is something I really want you to think about because like I mentioned before, the more we lean into this kind of fast paced, oh my God, I need it now I can't wait any longer. [00:23:42] I have to have things instantly. [00:23:44] 2x things like that. [00:23:46] We do train our brain to require that. [00:23:48] And now we can't do anything slow. [00:23:51] And I'm sure you've seen that in yourself over the years, right? [00:23:53] It's like, wow, I used to go to Blockbuster, go in, get the vhs, rent it, drive home, come home, put it in, watch the movie, put it back on the counter, take it back now it's like, oh, my God, my Netflix is delayed for 5 seconds. [00:24:09] This is so stupid.
[00:24:10] We get so impatient, right? [00:24:13] I have Amazon prime and it does have some commercials on it. [00:24:17] And I actually kind of like that. [00:24:18] I'm like, wow, this is training me to slow down. [00:24:21] It's making me wait. [00:24:22] And I think that's really good for us. [00:24:24] I think that's really, really good for the brain. [00:24:26] Having everything you want the second you want it is not good for the brain. [00:24:30] Even the ADHD brinks, you might think, well, I just so impatient.
[00:24:32] I have no patience. [00:24:33] You do. [00:24:34] We have. [00:24:35] But our society has trained us especially for the ADHD brain to not be using that patient skill anymore. [00:24:41] So we're trying to develop that with the idea of slowing down, there's no rush being able to wait, not doing things at the last second, not doing things in such a rush, not using 2x. [00:24:54] So for the entertainment ladder we are observing how can I stretch my attention today? [00:24:59] So for me, in my ladder, to give you an example, the bottom of my ladder is would be tick tock 2x. [00:25:05] I. [00:25:06] But I will say I have not gotten trapped in the 2x habit.
[00:25:10] I find it too much for me. [00:25:12] But TikTok would be the bottom of my ladder, meaning that is the least difficult thing to consume. [00:25:19] So, like, my brain is primed for that at any time. [00:25:22] Above that is Instagram for some reason, even if it's Reels for some reason, however the platform is designed, I find it a tiny bit less addictive. [00:25:31] Little less like, punch straight to the brain. [00:25:36] Then Facebook videos, right? [00:25:38] They're a little bit longer. [00:25:40] Then YouTube videos, then TV shows, then movies, then reading. [00:25:48] That is my entertainment ladder.
[00:25:51] Meaning how could I go up the ladder a little bit to challenge my brain? [00:25:56] And each day is going to be different. [00:25:58] Some days I can get that book out and I can read. [00:26:01] When I've been reading less, it's harder to read. [00:26:03] When I've been reading more, I find it easier to read. [00:26:06] So the higher you go up the ladder, the easier it's going to be to stay at the Top of the ladder, the more you're at the bottom of the ladder. [00:26:12] So say you just go 2x TikTok every time I have free time, that's what I do. [00:26:16] Again, no shame, no guilt. [00:26:18] I am seriously wanting you to put judgment aside just observation here, curiosity.
[00:26:23] When I go 2x TikTok all the time, I really want you to try to pick up a book and see how hard that is to read. [00:26:29] It's freaking hard. [00:26:31] So hard. [00:26:32] And that's again, not a judgment. [00:26:34] It's just when we prime the brain for that fast pace of input, it can't handle the slow, not flashy content of a book. [00:26:46] So really observing, wow. [00:26:48] Where could I go today? [00:26:48] And maybe that's watching a YouTube video instead of TikTok. [00:26:51] I know that might sound silly, but that will help you get up the ladder more and more and more and more and more.
[00:26:57] Maybe it's observing, wow. [00:26:59] I can't even watch a whole TV show without picking up my phone. [00:27:01] I'm going to challenge myself today. [00:27:03] Let's watch an episode of the show I really enjoy. [00:27:06] And again, does that sound silly? [00:27:07] Like, wow, watching TV is, is like stretching my brain. [00:27:11] But for us who are addicted to our phones, yes, it is. [00:27:14] And that's okay. [00:27:16] We gotta take it one little step at a time.
[00:27:19] Don't let that all or nothing thinking come in of like, okay, now I'm, I'm never gonna go my phone. [00:27:24] I'm always gonna read. [00:27:25] No, you're not. [00:27:26] Neither am I. [00:27:28] I did tell you about that one week I did that, but that was very like, I knew that was only for a week and it really helped that I was posting about it and kind of doing an experiment to observe what the brain did. [00:27:38] But see if you can stretch up that ladder a little bit and flex those patient's muscles, flex those attention span muscles because you can retrain your brain into more of an attention span and into more of a patient manner when you do, when you work on it intentionally. [00:28:03] So as you move forward this week, the most important thing here, though, because I know there's a trap for this, is to not let shame and judgment and guilt come into this conversation. [00:28:14] This is simply an observation, a bit of an experiment.
Adopting a Curious Mindset—No Shame Needed
[00:28:19] I really want you to sit right now. [00:28:22] Okay. [00:28:23] When I'm thinking about my phone, when I'm working on phone use, whether you're actively working on it or not, I'm only going to look at it through a lens of curiosity. [00:28:33] Isn't this interesting? [00:28:34] Isn't that interesting? [00:28:36] Wow. [00:28:37] When I put the phone away for a little bit. [00:28:39] I do find I have more energy to putter around the house. [00:28:41] I do. [00:28:41] I find I have more energy for that hobby that I had put aside for a couple weeks.
[00:28:46] I do find I actually want to get up and go. [00:28:49] I don't like just sitting here watching TV for hours and hours. [00:28:53] Of course, when I get sucked into a really good show, that's not always the case, but maybe sometimes it will be the case. [00:29:00] If you are actively ready to work on this a little bit, you can just observe. [00:29:04] Okay, what am I going to challenge myself with today? [00:29:07] Not 2x, only one screen at a time. [00:29:10] Write down your entertainment ladder and see, ooh, can I bump up one rung of the ladder today? [00:29:15] Or maybe you're going to join me in a little bit more radical approach of separating out your technology. [00:29:21] How simple can you make it? [00:29:22] I did also forget actually in the separating out technology was. [00:29:27] I do also use a paper calendar.
Analog Tools for ADHD Regulation
[00:29:30] I do want to do a workshop on the physical approach to ADHD regulation. [00:29:38] You need the internal regulation stuff first and what we're talking about so far. [00:29:41] But I do have a very specific outlook and idea of what works best for tools and technology. [00:29:49] 40 HDRs and I think as analog as possible is the way to go for our brains, but finding balance there. [00:29:55] Of course, we can't go fully analog all the time, but where you can, you may find it really benefits you. [00:30:01] So I do have a paper calendar and reducing my tech as much as possible and separating it out so I can focus on one thing at a time. [00:30:09] So when you're on the phone, you're just talking to people. [00:30:11] When you're on your MP3 player, you're just listening to music and podcasts.
[00:30:15] When you're working on your calendar, you're just just looking at your plan for the week. [00:30:19] A really great way to keep yourself from getting so distracted because that smartphone, when everything's in one bundle, I'm sure you've done that, where you go to check the time and somehow you're like down a rabbit hole of 20 minutes of TikTok. [00:30:30] Oh, I was just checking the time and here we are. [00:30:33] Oh, that being said, man, I'm not prepared this episode. [00:30:38] Watch. [00:30:39] I do have a smartwatch on right now, but it's not connected to anything. [00:30:43] It simply has the time and my stuff steps because I am working on moving my body a little bit more so I don't sit in this office chair all day long. [00:30:51] But I also have a Casio just digital watch.
[00:30:55] Just has the time. [00:30:56] I do recommend that as well. [00:30:58] That's going to separate the clock as well. [00:31:00] Right. [00:31:01] So instead of going to check the time on your phone all the time, you can check it right on your wrist and not get distracted by the phone. [00:31:08] Okay. [00:31:08] I know that might have been a bit of a triggering conversation for some. [00:31:13] The phone is a nasty thing.
It's Safe to Reflect—Take What You Need
[00:31:14] But I'm here to say it's safe to think about it. [00:31:18] It is safe to grapple with it. [00:31:20] It's even safe to want to be on it less but not be actively working on it. [00:31:24] It's okay. [00:31:24] That might just need to sit with you for a while, but when you are ready to take action, come back to this episode and take some of these tips or ideas and run with it. [00:31:33] See what helps. [00:31:34] Again, mindset of curiosity. [00:31:37] Okay.
[00:31:37] Thank you so much for being here. [00:31:39] As always. [00:31:40] You can grab my free regulation guide in the show notes if you want some written work about this. [00:31:46] I There's also a video of me walking through the PDF so you can get started on this regulation journey. [00:31:53] Please DM me or comment on this episode if you have any more questions about phone use. [00:31:59] How you feel about your phone use. [00:32:01] Was this a difficult conversation to have and to sit with? [00:32:04] It might have brought up some dysregulation, so just be aware of that. [00:32:08] Where is the resistance to even a conversation about scrolling? [00:32:13] Right.
[00:32:13] Sometimes we don't even want to have the conversation because it can be quite dysregulating because it can be our security blanket. [00:32:19] And I totally understand that. [00:32:21] So take it, take it easy, but take it in as well. [00:32:26] All right, thank you so much for being here. [00:32:28] We'll see you next week.