6 External Tools for Better ADHD Regulation
If your days feel like a sprint from one thing to the next, and you've tried every calendar app, productivity system, and ADHD hack promising to fix it, this episode gives you a different angle. Jenna usually talks about internal regulation, the nervous system, thoughts, beliefs, and behavior. This week she's looking beyond that at external tools for ADHD that make internal regulation more likely.
She walks through six external changes that shifted things for her, and the common thread across all of them is slowing down. When you're stuck in the frantic "I don't have time, everything's urgent, crash" loop, the tools you reach for tend to match that energy. Fast apps, packed calendars, back-to-back meetings, scrolling on 2x speed. Jenna's argument is that when your external world is that rushed, your internal regulation doesn't stand a chance.
What the episode covers:
Why cramming your week into "efficient" back-to-back blocks reads to your nervous system as chaos, and what a regulated ADHD daily schedule looks like instead
The household shifts Jenna made (a landline, a record player, less screen time) and why lower-tech tools slow the whole family down in a way that helps regulation, especially for parenting with ADHD
Why the best calendar for ADHD might be the boring paper one that forces you to slow down every time you write something in it
How ADHD and social media feed each other, why scrolling makes impatience worse, and what she's testing next (including a dumb cell phone) to change her own relationship with her phone
The ADHD all-or-nothing thinking trap that says a 2-minute break outside is pointless if you can't take an hour, and why that thinking is dysregulation talking
The rule she uses when she wants to change something in her life: one new thing at a time, because trying to overhaul five habits at once is how ADHD burnout starts
Where this really lands is Jenna's point about efficiency. When you're dysregulated, you reach for tools that promise speed. Faster apps, tighter systems, cramming more in. But if the problem is a nervous system stuck in rush mode, adding more rush is not the fix. A slower tool, one that requires whiting out a mistake on a paper calendar instead of tapping delete, is doing something real. The friction is the feature. It's what pulls you out of ADHD overwhelm long enough to think clearly again.
Nervous system regulation for ADHD is the foundation, and it always will be. External tools sit on top of that foundation. What Jenna makes clear in this episode is that the two are not separate projects. The way your schedule is built, the calendar you use, the phone in your pocket, the pace of your household, all of it is either supporting your regulation or working against it.
"The theme is going to be slow and steady. The theme is going to be reducing the rush and the frantic energy. It's gonna be your best bet."
The external tools in this episode work because they sit on top of internal regulation. Jenna's free ADHD Regulation Guide is where that internal work starts, covering nervous system, thought, and behavior regulation in the order she teaches them.
Clinicians who want to teach this regulation-first approach to their ADHD clients can join the waitlist for the ADHD Regulation Method certification.
Everything Jenna teaches, from the internal work to the external shifts she covered today, lives inside her book The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation. Bookstores, libraries, wherever you get your books.
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More about ADHD with Jenna Free
ADHD with Jenna Free is a podcast for adults with ADHD who are done surviving their symptoms and ready to start thriving with ADHD, without the endless tips, hacks, and workarounds that have never really fixed anything. It's also the show where therapists, coaches, and counselors come to deepen their understanding of treating ADHD in adults and learn what regulation-based care looks like in practice.
Hosted by Jenna Free, a Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC) and ADHD therapist, this show exists to give you a completely different way of understanding ADHD in adults. You're stuck, overwhelmed, and exhausted because your brain is running on fight-or-flight. Willpower was never going to fix that, and once you understand that, everything changes.
I’ll answer questions like:
Do I have ADHD?
What is ADHD task paralysis, and how do I get unstuck?
Why is my ADHD getting worse in my 40s?
What do ADHD and perimenopause do to your brain?
How do I manage ADHD emotional dysregulation without medication alone?
Why do I procrastinate so much with ADHD?
Why don't ADHD tips and tricks ever work long-term?
What does it look like to thrive with ADHD?
What does nervous system regulation have to do with ADHD?
How do I stop feeling overwhelmed with ADHD?
How do I get trained to treat ADHD in adults using a regulation-based approach?
What does ADHD therapist training through a regulation framework actually cover?
This podcast covers the full experience of living with adult ADHD: the real science behind procrastination in ADHD and ADHD task paralysis, why ADHD and perimenopause collide in ways no one talks about, and the solution-focused conversations most ADHD podcasts aren't having. For practitioners, Jenna also gets into the clinical side: what nervous system regulation training looks like, how to apply a regulation framework with clients, and what ADHD coach certification and ADHD therapist training often omit. Jenna shares her own story throughout, what it looks like to go from chronically dysregulated to thriving, so whether you're living with ADHD or working with people who are, you can see what's possible.
This show gives adults with ADHD, newly navigating a late diagnosis, and clinicians seeking ADHD continuing education one thing: a clear path toward healing
If you're an adult with ADHD who's tired of the commiseration and ready for a show that believes your life can look completely different, or a practitioner who wants to understand ADHD at the nervous system level, you're in the right place.
The unedited transcript for this episode of ADHD with Jenna
1. Slowing Down My Schedule
Jenna Free [00:01:06 - 00:01:38]: That does not usually keep me regulated. So for example, say weekends, maybe one plan every weekend keeps you regulated. It keeps you feeling supported. You have enough time for yourself and the things you need to do, but can also socialize. But if you cram, say, Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday in the day I have plans. That may be quite dysregulating. And then maybe another weekend you have nothing, and then you lay in bed and scroll all weekend. It's like, oh, sustainable and spreading things out actually works best for me.Jenna Free [00:01:39 - 00:02:16]: We can also see this in our work schedules. Maybe you book all your meetings on Mondays trying to get them over with, and then you have a lot of spaciousness but no structure the rest of the week, and That can be quite off-putting. That can be very dysregulating. We can really see dysregulation, right? In imbalance or in the extreme. So it's like all of this day and then nothing this day. That is something you can do externally to support kind of that more sustainable doo doo doo doo doo energy. So that is something you can look into. Actually, where I first did this and considered this was in my work as a therapist.
Jenna Free [00:02:16 - 00:02:50]: So I used to see about four or five clients a day, individuals, and I thought, okay. I'll book them all back to back as early as I can, and then I'll have like 2 PM and onward to myself or to do other things before the kids get home. That's great, right? That felt like an efficient use of time, very all or nothing. And then I would started doing that. I would see those few clients in a row. 2 o'clock would come. Oh, I'm so exhausted after that go go go go go without any breaks that I would crash. Then I was scrolling.
Jenna Free [00:02:51 - 00:03:29]: Laying in bed doing nothing until the kids got home. So it was not good use of my time. The results were not there, even though the logic like made sense in my dysregulated brain. But as I've learned, wow, I actually really do well when things are spread out. Even though, yes, now I have an appointment at 4 when I would have normally been done by 2, but I actually use the, say, the hour in between appointments well. I can putter around and get some things done or have a genuine Rest, go for a walk, do something that's really fulfilling and feels good. Much better use of our time even though it might feel like, but I want to get work over with. So that is something you consider is your schedule.
2. Slowing Down My Household
Jenna Free [00:03:30 - 00:04:25]: The second area I've been working on is slowing down my household, really thinking what can be simplified, what can be slowed down with in my home with my kids. I have 2 boys and a husband And what could we do to slow things down and get more regulated? So one, I got a landline in the house and it's been really cool. It's just like less use of the cell phone. The boys have never spoken to their grandparents as much in their life, right? It provides connection. Obviously to me, any— anything a little bit like— I was gonna say old-fashioned, but I grew up with a landline. It's not that old-fashioned. But anything that's a little bit lower level technology I find slows us down and is really, really beneficial for our brains. So the landline, we have a record player in our house, and, you know, my boys know how to turn it on.Jenna Free [00:04:26 - 00:05:29]: And it's just an interesting thing, like they're already learning we don't need everything the second we want it, go, go, go. It doesn't have to be flashy and intense, like just putting on a song and then they play and the music's on, or You know, having that landline, it rings and you go answer it. Hello, who's this? Instead of this like, okay, I can only text, I don't have time for a phone call. It really is just an interesting angle it's coming to regulation from. And then also, you know, with the parenting side of things, having more outside time, less screen time. I know this is kind of like the preachy blah blah whatever stuff, but it is something interesting to consider because if you think your whole home is dysregulated, we can look at why. Are we in a rush? Do we have a lot of overstimulation? Could I slow things down a little bit? I have really found, even for myself, having to challenge the, like, not always entertaining them and keeping them busy. And a few times, even when I've done it very intentionally, I remember one evening I was cooking dinner and they're like, we're bored, we don't know what to do.
Jenna Free [00:05:29 - 00:06:09]: I was like, well, you're just gonna have to figure it out. And I didn't jump in to, like, save the day, which I can often do, because when we're dysregulated, we just want to solve the problem and get it moving along. But it was really interesting. Within 10 minutes, they had like brought the art stuff out. They were at the kitchen table, like entertaining themselves, and I didn't have to do any of it. And it was just a really interesting moment to see how that slowing down, the simplification, the more calm for all of our brains really allows us to work a little bit more effectively, both for our individual selves and for our household. Because I know if you have ADHD, probably someone in your house does too. All right, number 3 is using a calendar.
3. Using a Calendar as an External Support
Jenna Free [00:06:10 - 00:07:07]: I talk about it all the time, but this is an external support, right? This is an external tool to support my brain. Someone might call it an accommodation, but it is something that is supporting our regulation. I stay much more regulated when I don't have to try to remember everything I need to do. It's written down for me, my appointments are in there, so I'm not going to miss anything, and then I'm able to stay more regulated. So it is an external regulation tool. I honestly don't know how any human being, never mind an ADHDer, survives and is effective in life without a calendar that works for them. You may have 6 calendars that you never use, but a calendar that you actually use every day, I feel personally, is a requirement to function well in a world where we typically have to be quite a few places at certain times, a lot of things going on. So that might be something that you want to work on for an external tool.Jenna Free [00:07:08 - 00:07:55]: There's so much out there. There's so many apps, a lot of complicated systems. I do think the simplicity of, dare I say, even the paper calendar that I use to be the reason it's effective, right? It's simple, it's tangible, it's slower in nature than like an app, for example. I'm not demonizing that, saying like the analog and the Quote unquote, old-fashioned is always better. But I do find, right, it's very counterintuitive when we're feeling in a rush and we're feeling dysregulated to use something that's intentionally going to slow you down feels weird. It's like, but I'm behind, I need to catch up, I need efficiency every single place I can get it. I can't afford that. But maybe the opposite is true.
Jenna Free [00:07:56 - 00:08:58]: Maybe we can't afford to always be in a rush and looking for convenience and rushing at every corner. Yeah. So for my paper calendar, like, it requires a lot of physicality and things that slow it down for me, which I think really helps. So one, I have like a little pencil case that I carry around with my calendar. Obviously typically lives at my desk, but if I'm bringing my work somewhere, I usually have a bag, so I would have my calendar and my computer and everything in it. But I have this pencil case, I have a few highlighters in it, my whiteout Like, just think, like, it's so weird because it's like, okay, why is this ADHD coach, when we have so much to do, thinking that I should, you know, every time I have to change something on my calendar, white it out? But it slows us down, which regulates us, which has us thinking more clearly, which has us using the calendar better. So it's just something to consider with your external tools. Are they themselves so rooted in efficiency and a rush? Yeah.
Jenna Free [00:08:59 - 00:09:39]: Or are they more grounded and a little bit slower? Because it might actually be what you need. All right, number 4 is working on my relationship with scrolling. This is a journey, right? This is tricky, but scrolling, specifically social media, TikTok, Instagram, things like that, are going to be very dysregulating. It is not helping our situation. It does. You know, there's stuff out there being like, oh, social media is causing ADHD. That's of course is not the case, but it's certainly not helping our regulation. One, it's such a fast-paced medium that that is making your brain impatient.
4. Working on My Relationship with Scrolling
Jenna Free [00:09:39 - 00:10:12]: That is making your brain rush. I know a lot of people, you know, use the 2x feature on TikTok where it's like, oh my God, hurry up, you're talking too slow. We're becoming more and more impatient, more and more in a rush, and that is exacerbating dysregulation. So working on your relationship with scrolling is going to be kind of a thing you can do externally to support your regulation journey. For me, it's looked like many different things. I'm not saying it's perfect. I'm not saying I have the perfect answer to this addictive issue. But, you know, I have tried the apps where it blocks it for certain times.Jenna Free [00:10:12 - 00:10:43]: That can work for certain periods for me. A little tricky when social media is involved in my work though. So that's been a bit of an up and down. You know, working on leaving my phone Behind. If I'm just going out in the yard, I don't necessarily need my phone all the time. Trying to keep it out of like my hand, in my pocket all day, that can help give us a bit of distance from it. My next step is I do have a dumb phone coming, and you guys have, if you've read my emails and everything, you've heard me talking about this forever. It was supposed to come in February and now it's coming beginning of July.
Jenna Free [00:10:43 - 00:11:29]: It's been delayed, but it is a phone that does not have social media. So I can take the phone with me and leave my smartphone in my desk to be a work resource, cuz I do post for work. Mm-hmm. social media for work, but I'm really hoping that physical separation will create a new relationship with it. But again, it's just a continuous effort and not giving up on that relationship with scrolling. So if you have tried to scroll less and you have tried to change your relationship with your phone, you can just observe if you're kind of in like all or nothing, like if I'm not doing it perfectly, I'm not trying at all. Or are you trying different types of things? It is okay to quote unquote backslide. Like I have, my journey's not been linear.
Jenna Free [00:11:29 - 00:12:05]: Sometimes I'm less attached to it. Other times I'm falling back in the pattern, but just keep at it. You may find something that really works for you. I know for some people, like things like the Brick, which is like physical device that helps you lock and unlock your phone, gives you a bit more friction. Those kind of apps that block you from getting on there gives you a little bit more resistance to getting on. Or of course a dumb phone. I mean, if you can get rid of it, altogether, it's probably the best bet, but that's not realistic for most people. I do find when I scroll less and say that, that work is going well, of while I'm on it less, I do feel my anxiety is lower.
Jenna Free [00:12:06 - 00:13:06]: I do find I'm able to be more regulated and more present more easily, and I am able to do things like read more readily. I've kind of been on a good stint of not being on my phone as much, and I've actually read 2 books in the past few weeks, and I'm like, oh, feels so good because I really love reading. But if I'm scrolling too much, my brain almost loses the capacity. So it's something you can observe of like how your relationship with scrolling affects your ability to do other things as well. Okay, the 5th thing I work on to stay more regulated in more of an external way would be to take breaks and listen to my body. That's a little bit internal, but it's really like doing the thing externally that's going to support me. That might be simple things like going and sitting on my front step in the sun for Literally a minute. That can be a nice breakup in the day instead of me being in my house all the time, because I do work from home and obviously I live here and I'm here with my kids a lot.
5. Taking Breaks and Listening to My Body
Jenna Free [00:13:06 - 00:13:48]: It can be quite dysregulating and you can feel quite stuck. So things like that, going in the yard, going in the front yard, going for a walk, that can make all the difference. And we can observe where we get stuck with all-or-nothing thinking, like I either need to have this big routine and be taking a big long break, or why bother doing anything? Yeah. You really challenge that thinking. So that's a form of dysregulated thinking of, hey, any little bit of support helps. So that 2 minutes sitting on the step today, I warmed up my leftovers and went sat on the lounge chair in the backyard. I was probably literally like, doesn't take me long to eat. I was probably out there for 5 minutes and then came back inside, but it felt very rejuvenating.Jenna Free [00:13:50 - 00:14:28]: So just observe if you kind of get stuck in this all-or-nothing thinking and you're like, oh my God, there's so much work to do. I can't take any breaks at all. Find some middle ground, find some balance, because those breaks are going to keep you regulated. That mental break or physical break is going to keep you in a sustainable place. I even took a little break before I started recording this because I had a few calls this morning. I was editing my manuscript and I was like, oh, like I could just go straight to the podcast and record it, but I know I won't be kind of in the very good energy. I'll be kind of just getting it over with instead of really engaged with it. So that is something you can observe.
Jenna Free [00:14:28 - 00:14:54]: Are taking breaks being put on the back burner? If you'd actually take it, you are going to be more regulated. That can be really tricky because when we're dysregulated, we think, well, I don't have time, I'm too busy, there's too much to do. But that's the dysregulation talking. You can afford a 5-minute break. You can even afford your 1-hour lunch break if that's what you're allotted. Take it. When things don't make sense, that's the dysregulation. Talking.
Jenna Free [00:14:54 - 00:15:16]: So when we're going all day being like, I can't afford to take a break, I can't go sit outside in the sun, I can't go walk around the block, I can't go, you know, heat up my lunch and eat it outside, I can't do any of that. But then you find yourself scrolling for 2 hours. It's like, okay, you obviously had the time. Your brain was just stuck in that frantic place, right? I don't have time. I don't. Everything's urgent. Crash. Don't have time.
Jenna Free [00:15:16 - 00:15:33]: I don't have time. Everything's urgent. Crash. So really observe that. Ooh, my mind's playing tricks on me, thinking I can't take breaks. You can, you can afford it, and it's going to serve you well. It's really going to serve you well. Rest is just as productive as doing, right? You can't have one without the other.
Jenna Free [00:15:33 - 00:15:49]: You cannot go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Nobody can. It's not a personal failing. It's just not the human way. We need breaks to keep that sustainable. Do do do do do. That must include rest. Number six is an interesting one.
6. Implementing One New Thing at a Time
Jenna Free [00:15:50 - 00:16:46]: I only implement one new thing at a time. So when we are dysregulated, it's very common to think, I don't like how things are, I'm gonna overhaul everything tomorrow or on Monday. And so maybe you think, okay, I'm gonna eat better, I'm gonna get some good groceries, I'm gonna start going to the gym, I'm going to, you know, start reading instead of scrolling. I'm gonna— all this stuff. I'm gonna start regulating and doing everything Jana says, and I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that all at once. Very dysregulating, right? You're gonna try, you're gonna try to keep all those plates in the air, keep all those plates spinning, and they're gonna drop. And then you're gonna go, screw it, why bother, right? So for me, whenever I'm doing something or working towards some sort of growth or change, I only ever do one thing at a time. So for example, when I started my therapy practice That was all I had going on that was new.Jenna Free [00:16:46 - 00:17:17]: I hadn't been working out in a while, and I thought, oh, I should start working out. Now's not the time. I just started a new practice, right? That is very tiring. Talking to clients for hours a day was new to me. I hadn't done it in a long time, so I was very exhausted by that, right? It was quite dysregulating. So it takes time for that to become my new normal, and then that became my new normal, and then I thought, okay, I want to get back into exercising. I have the time. I just didn't have the capacity, and then I added exercise in.
Jenna Free [00:17:18 - 00:18:17]: That's that was kind of up and down, but now I've been consistent for about you know five months of going at least every week in some capacity, and that feels very good. But I did it at a time when I felt I had the capacity, so it has stuck better, and it feels like very consistent, and it feels like it's happening at a do do do do do level where I can continue at it. Obviously, it's not going to be forever, and it's never going to be perfect. But this implementing one thing at a time will really build you a stronger foundation, right? So even my podcast, it was meant to come out January. That was my initial idea that I put down was, okay, I want it to launch in January and that'll be a fresh start and we'll get it started. Well, leading up to January, I was feeling so overwhelmed, had other things going on that it just, you know, it was too many things at once. So I did delay it and then it came out in April. Well, is that ideal? Is that what I had planned? No, but that was realistic.
Jenna Free [00:18:18 - 00:20:20]: That's kept it from being something that's so dysregulating and overwhelming that I quit or didn't have an episode out every week. So you want to observe, are we going for fast and quick or are we going for slower but lasting? A more regulated approach is always going to favor that slower but lasting because I'm sure what is the point of a flash in the pan Endeavor. What is the point of something that you go hard with for a week but then quit after a little bit, right? Most people would say, if you said, hey, do you want to like start exercising slowly but then be working out still in 2 years, or go really hard for 2 weeks and then stop? I mean, no one's gonna pick the 2 weeks and stop, yet that's what we do, right? Or do you want to eat well, work out? You know, I'm kind of using the health self-care Tropes, but eat well, work out, you know, journal and meditate every day for 2 weeks and then stop? Or do you want to start working out a little bit and then once you get in the groove, work on maybe not eating potato chips at lunch and eating actual lunch? That was me for a while, focusing on that. Then you can figure out what kind of, you know, routines you'd like in the morning, right? Slow build, but then 2 years from now, it's going to all feel really foundational and strong. We know we like the long term, and if we connect with the reality that, you know, we can't have it all— and that's a part of regulation, is connecting with the reality that if you try to overhaul everything, if you try to implement 5 new things today, it's probably not going to last. It's going to become overwhelming, it's going to put you in paralysis, and you're going to throw the baby out with the bathwater. So these are all things you can consider. When doing regulation work of like, how do I further support myself even outside of the nervous system and the thinking work that I'm doing? So hopefully those give you a little insights into like, what tweaks can I make in my home, in my ADHD tools, in the way I think, in the way I tackle things? Really, the name of the game, the theme is always balance.
Closing Thoughts on External Regulation
Jenna Free [00:20:21 - 00:20:56]: The theme is going to be slow and steady. The theme is going to be, you know, Reducing the rush and the frantic energy, it's gonna be your best bet. And if any resistance to that comes up for you, I want to hear about it. Please send me a DM, please comment on the podcast or email me. I'm really interested to hear, like, what are the concerns that come up for you? Because they will, they will. When we are dysregulated, our system wants to hold on to that, which is why this work is not like, oh, here's the answer, okay, great. Problem solved. It's usually not that easy.Jenna Free [00:20:56 - 00:21:49]: It takes a little bit of effort. It takes some repetition. It takes some grappling. It takes some exploration. Because if your system feels it's not in a safe place and it has to protect itself, you saying, no, you don't, just relax, isn't going to, you know, it's not enough. We've got to work through these things. We've got to observe what beliefs come up, what resistance comes up, what feels unsafe about going slow and steady, what feels unsafe about, you know, these small tweaks, what feels unsafe about a paper calendar slows you down instead of like a really fast-paced complex app? It's because that's what, that's what's familiar, right? When we're dysregulated, we're so familiar with that way of thinking and processing that we think a tool that matches that will help, but it actually often just exacerbates the problem of this kind of frantic intensity and crash cycle that we get stuck in. So I hope this is helpful for you.
Jenna Free [00:21:50 - 00:22:35]: I'd love to hear if you make any tweaks externally yourself in the coming week. So please let me know if you do. But of course, the internal work is always the foundation, right? The nervous system regulation, the thought and belief regulation, and therefore the behavior regulation. Those are the things that are going to actually provide the transformation, but we can always support ourselves externally on top of that. So if you found this helpful, if you found this a different maybe way of thinking about ADHD and how to cope externally, I would love you to share this podcast with someone else who might find this helpful as well. It's a great way to spread the word about regulation work for ADHD. I know this approach can be counterintuitive and different, but I also know that it's the way. It is the way that's going to really help people.
Jenna Free [00:22:35 - 00:22:59]: So if you can share this with your friends, much appreciated. And of course, if you haven't rated or reviewed the podcast, that is always helpful as well. I'd love to get this work out to as many people as possible so that ADHDers can stop feeling like they're just keeping their head above water. And truly live a life that feels more productive, more enjoyable, and more solid. So thank you so much for tuning in today, and I'll talk to you next week.