How to Find Balance with ADHD All-or-Nothing Thinking
You either clean the whole house in one rampage or you don't pick your clothes up off the floor for a week. Maybe it shows up at the gym, where going hard and eating perfectly gets derailed by one cookie, and then you write off the whole month. Or it's the work project you can't touch until you have a six-hour window to disappear into it, and when the window doesn't come, no progress happens at all.
This is ADHD all-or-nothing thinking, and it turns into all-or-nothing behavior. A lot of ADHDers assume it's baked into who they are. It isn't. It's a dysregulation pattern, and it can shift.
The usual advice sounds like: try harder, be more disciplined, stick to the plan this time. I want to push back on that, because the pattern isn't about willpower. When your nervous system is dysregulated, it swings you from one extreme to the other. You go hard, then you collapse. Ramp back up, and crash again. That pendulum swing burns you out and, worse, it keeps you from making any real momentum. Consistent, sustainable action in the middle of the swing is where progress actually lives.
Here’s what we cover in this episode:
What ADHD all-or-nothing thinking is and how it turns into all-or-nothing behavior
Why the pendulum swing is a dysregulation pattern your nervous system can learn to shift out of
Examples across cleaning, work, fitness, and food, so you can spot the pattern in your own life
How the ADHD binge-restrict cycle is the same pendulum as going hard at the gym then quitting for a month
Why ADHD perfectionism and avoidance are the same pattern dressed differently
What the ADHD burnout cycle looks like when you're stuck swinging between extremes
Why your nervous system fights the middle ground at first, and what makes change feel like life or death
How to identify one place you're pulling the extreme this week and start softening the swing
Why the middle is where real progress builds
What Jenna wants you to walk away with is this: building habits with ADHD lives in the middle of the pendulum. When you stop pulling it to the extremes, momentum starts doing the work for you. You get more done with less exhaustion, and you get your life back from that crash and recover loop. Your nervous system will resist this at first because change feels risky to a primal part of you. Push through that first stretch and the payoff is real.
"This is not a part of your brain. It is neither inherent nor inevitable. It is simply a way your nervous system has conditioned you to maintain balance.”
Join Jenna for a free call on August 5th titled "Is the Purpose of Life to Check Off To-Do Lists Till I Die?" She's going into the deeper side of ADHD regulation work and what life can look like when you're not stuck rushing through it. Grab your free spot here.
If you're a therapist, counselor, coach, or occupational therapist who wants to bring this work into your practice, get on the waitlist for the ADHD Regulation Method certification, launching in September 2026.
And Jenna's book, The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation, is available wherever books are sold. Don't forget you can also check your local library.
Connect with Jenna
Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram
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More about ADHD with Jenna Free
ADHD with Jenna Free is a podcast for adults with ADHD who are done surviving their symptoms and ready to start thriving with ADHD, without the endless tips, hacks, and workarounds that have never really fixed anything. It's also the show where therapists, coaches, and counselors come to deepen their understanding of treating ADHD in adults and learn what regulation-based care looks like in practice.
Hosted by Jenna Free, a Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC) and ADHD therapist, this show exists to give you a completely different way of understanding ADHD in adults. You're stuck, overwhelmed, and exhausted because your brain is running on fight-or-flight. Willpower was never going to fix that, and once you understand that, everything changes.
I’ll answer questions like:
Do I have ADHD?
What is ADHD task paralysis, and how do I get unstuck?
Why is my ADHD getting worse in my 40s?
What do ADHD and perimenopause do to your brain?
How do I manage ADHD emotional dysregulation without medication alone?
Why do I procrastinate so much with ADHD?
Why don't ADHD tips and tricks ever work long-term?
What does it look like to thrive with ADHD?
What does nervous system regulation have to do with ADHD?
How do I stop feeling overwhelmed with ADHD?
How do I get trained to treat ADHD in adults using a regulation-based approach?
What does ADHD therapist training through a regulation framework actually cover?
This podcast covers the full experience of living with adult ADHD: the real science behind procrastination in ADHD and ADHD task paralysis, why ADHD and perimenopause collide in ways no one talks about, and the solution-focused conversations most ADHD podcasts aren't having. For practitioners, Jenna also gets into the clinical side: what nervous system regulation training looks like, how to apply a regulation framework with clients, and what ADHD coach certification and ADHD therapist training often omit. Jenna shares her own story throughout, what it looks like to go from chronically dysregulated to thriving, so whether you're living with ADHD or working with people who are, you can see what's possible.
This show gives adults with ADHD, newly navigating a late diagnosis, and clinicians seeking ADHD continuing education one thing: a clear path toward healing
If you're an adult with ADHD who's tired of the commiseration and ready for a show that believes your life can look completely different, or a practitioner who wants to understand ADHD at the nervous system level, you're in the right place.
The unedited transcript for this episode of ADHD with Jenna
Jenna Free [00:00:10 - 00:00:53]:
Hello and welcome to the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast. Today we are talking about all or nothing thinking, which in the end is all or nothing behavior, doing things either full on or not even bothering. This is something that a lot of ADHDers assume is a part of who we are. This is just how I am. But this is something we can become much better at. I did a poll asking in the ADHD Regulation Insiders group, which is just this little chat group on Instagram. If you go to my Instagram, you can find that where I give a daily insight. And I did a poll asking what part of regulation work is the toughest, and the most common answer was the behavior part.
The Challenge of All-or-Nothing Thinking
Jenna Free [00:00:53 - 00:01:52]: This way of doing things in an all-or-nothing fashion. I'm either full-on Or I'm not even trying. So that is what we're going to dive into today to give you some more insights into why that's happening and what we can do to start working on it. So before we dive in, I do want to share about a free call I'm hosting on August 5th called, Is the Purpose of Life to Check Off To-Do Lists Till I Die? This is where we're going to be diving into the deeper part of regulation work and the deeper part of ADHD conversation that we rarely get to touch on because we're so busy dealing with productivity and tools and tips and tricks. Yeah. hacks to do more and check off those to-do lists. But I know for me, the reason I went down this whole journey of even finding a diagnosis and then doing regulation work was I'm not enjoying my life. I really feel like I'm just rushing to get things over with so I can go collapse, essentially relax, have that relief.
The Hamster Wheel of Productivity
Jenna Free [00:01:52 - 00:02:21]: But then I wake up and I do it all again. And I was really in this hamster wheel. Yeah. There are no moments, and even if there are, they're so, so short-lived, where, wow, I'm really, I'm just here. I'm enjoying the moment and I'm enjoying my life. I was always, you know, looking to get to that next thing, get this thing done, and rushing through life. That is so disheartening, can feel so empty. We can be so resentful of this life we're living where we're just chasing, chasing, chasing, and trying to get everything done.
Connecting to Life’s Richness
Jenna Free [00:02:22 - 00:02:57]: With no end in sight. So we're diving into that deeper part of the work. This is going to be a little bit more of like a thought-provoking call. Of course, some insights of what you can do to start connecting more to the enjoyment of life, the fulfillment of life, and this richness that I'm sure you desire as well. Again, that was my main fuel for getting my diagnosis, and I really have achieved that. I've made such a big change. It's been about 3 or 4 years now. And I would say I am obviously not 100% of the time, but so much more just present here for the day, whatever that day entails.
Being Present and Enjoying Life
Jenna Free [00:02:57 - 00:03:25]: Sometimes it's working, sometimes it's hanging out with the kids, sometimes it's going on a trip. Doesn't matter what it is. I'm just here living life, present, feet firmly on the ground, having an enjoyable time. And even when things aren't enjoyable, because not everything's roses and sunshine, but it's like, I'm still here for it. I'm experiencing it. I'm soaking life up. And that is so important because ADHDers deserve that too. So you can get your seat for that in the show notes.
Invitation to a Thought-Provoking Call
Jenna Free [00:03:25 - 00:03:55]: That is just a free call. Come join us. See if you can get those gears turning of like, wait, what more do I want out of my life? Not just survival. And now I want to check in with you. How are you feeling? How is your shoulders? Are they up by your ears? Are you rushing? Take a breath, slow down. There's no rush. And now let's begin. So we can see dysregulation in extremes, and we can definitely see that in behavior.
Recognizing All-or-Nothing Behavior
Jenna Free [00:03:56 - 00:04:44]: And it's a little bit easier to spot it in behavior because, you know, we're seeing what we're doing. So that can look like we're either cleaning the whole house in a rampage, Or I don't even bother picking my clothes up off the floor. I dive in, do the whole work project today. I've waited till I have a 6-hour window where I can just buckle down and go hard and get it done. Or if I don't have that huge time slot where I can do the whole thing, like I don't even make any progress at all. I just wait till I can kind of dive in headfirst. Or it might be more the perfectionism route of If I'm not going to be great right away, why even try? We see that a lot, you know, some memes and funny jokes about ADHDers, you know, oh, I'm not amazing the first time I tried tennis. Screw this.
Dysregulation and Perfectionism
Jenna Free [00:04:45 - 00:05:43]: It's not for me, but that is dysregulation. And of course, I'm sure we're seeing why this pattern is hurtful and not at all beneficial. We can also see where, you know, if there's risk of it not being perfect, so risk of failure, I don't even go for it. It can be in our habits. So I'm either going hard at the gym and eating so perfectly, but then I eat one cookie and then I go, screw it, I'll start again next month, right? This really strong pendulum swing. So these are all examples of all-or-nothing thinking and therefore all-or-nothing behavior. And there are things that are signs of dysregulation and they keep the pendulum swinging. So the reason we don't benefit from all-or-nothing behavior is when you swing from one extreme to the next, one, you don't make any momentum, right? Consistent and more sustainable action is going to like get the ball rolling where it's easier and easier and easier to keep going.
The Power of Momentum and Small Steps
Jenna Free [00:05:43 - 00:06:31]: For example, let's take something a little tangible, like getting fit. Okay. I'm going to the gym, trying to be thoughtful about my eating, eating some more vegetables and some more protein. Great. Well, if you go hard for a week, And then say, screw it, and kind of rebel against that for a week, you had made no progress, if not further back, because now you feel shame, you feel like you've failed. That's not helping us move forward versus if we have a more flexible mindset and we behave more flexibly, more sustainably in the middle of that very wide pendulum swing, we might go, okay, I'm not going to the gym at all, and I'm not being I'm not thoughtful at all about what I'm eating. Okay. What are small changes I can make to head in the direction I want to go? And maybe that means, oh, I'm going to start going to the gym 2 days a week and learn about weightlifting.
Building Sustainable Habits
Jenna Free [00:06:32 - 00:06:48]: Great. So you start doing that for a few weeks. Okay. Well, now I'm going to be a little more thoughtful with my dinners. I'm going to add extra vegetables. Okay. You do that, right? You build up and you get this momentum where it becomes kind of more of a healthy lifestyle that you're living and you feel good about it. It's sustainable.
Avoiding Burnout by Finding Flexibility
Jenna Free [00:06:48 - 00:07:27]: Yeah. And you get that benefit of that momentum. Momentum is such a great thing because you're not having to work as hard. If you are stuck in the pendulum swing, you are exerting yourself intensely and then collapsing, and then you have to ramp yourself back up and then you collapse. You are not making progress long-term. So this is why we want to find more flexibility and remove ourselves from this very extreme pendulum swing. So I was on the pendulum myself for years, a super obvious place, kind of what we were talking about already. This all-or-nothing thinking is going to be relevant for all areas of your life, but I do see it a ton with people with exercise and food.
Personal Experience with the Pendulum Swing
Jenna Free [00:07:27 - 00:08:02]: So that is kind of what I'm talking about, but please put this on anything you experience this all-or-nothing nature with. So really obvious place for me that came out was food. So I was either eating perfectly or I was binge eating. There was no in-between. And that was a sign I was in fight or flight, but I did not know it at the time. So I was so dysregulated and it was a trap because I would feel fear and shame about food and my body. So I was in this fight or flight, right? A very fearful, negatively motivated relationship with my body. So that's where it started, right? Fight, flight, freeze, fawn.
The Biology of Extremes and Regulation
Jenna Free [00:08:02 - 00:08:43]: I was in like danger mode, which is why I developed this relationship with food. So then I would restrict because I was so scared, right? Oh, I have to look a certain way. I can't gain weight, whatever it was. Probably an eating disorder, but I was never diagnosed. So I would try to be really healthy and I would always eat and I would always eat a decent amount, but very health-oriented, like can't eat anything processed, very rigid. Then I would swing to the other side because that's how biology works. The reason that when you go to one extreme, like, okay, I gotta eat perfectly, being very rigid and fear-based with it. You will swing the other way at some point because that's biology.
Restoring Balance: Ending the Swing
Jenna Free [00:08:44 - 00:09:30]: Your nature wants to find equilibrium. It wants to find balance. So if we go to one side, it will naturally pull you back to the other side to try to find balance again. And that's why we get this swing back and forth. So I was stuck in that swing for at least 10 years. Then I would swing into that binge side and then I'd feel so horrible, both physically and mostly mentally. So then I would try to restrict again, right? Pull that pendulum all the way back, and then it would swing, and on and on it went for over 10 years. So the only thing that stopped this all-or-nothing behavior was interrupting that pendulum swing, and that only happens when we stop pulling the pendulum to the first extreme.
Interrupting the Pendulum Swing
Jenna Free [00:09:30 - 00:10:03]: So for me, that was the restriction side, right? This wasn't starting with binge eating. And if you binge eat, even if you feel like you don't restrict food, I promise you, it's not starting with the binge eating. That is the equal opposite reaction. So we got to look at what is that first extreme I'm pulling the pendulum to? So for me, that was, you know, the rigidity, fear, and restriction with food. So I had to stop there. That's really hard. Let's use some different examples so you can see this in, you know, more different context. Say it's with cleaning.
Applying the Concept to Everyday Life
Jenna Free [00:10:03 - 00:10:42]: We have to stop pulling the pendulum to like the extreme intense cleaning. You're not pulling the pendulum on purpose to like avoiding cleaning or not doing any cleaning, right? That's kind of the equal opposite reaction. So we want to interrupt the intensity. That's going to be really hard because that first pendulum pull, if you will, feels productive, right? Clean the house like a wild person. Yeah. Restrict and eat really super healthy because I binge ate. Do this work project for 6 hours because I haven't done enough work and I want to hammer it out, right? Whatever it is, it's going to be that extreme. And usually that first extreme feels productive.
The Cycle and Trap of All-or-Nothing
Jenna Free [00:10:42 - 00:11:11]: It feels like the only way you can get things done. And this is why all-or-nothing thinking and all-or-nothing behavior is a cycle and it is a trap. Because often, unless we're explicitly aware of it, And really working on it, we're not going to want to interrupt that, right? I want to interrupt the binge eating, not the restricting. The eating super healthy is good. It's the binging that's bad. Okay. But they come as a package deal. Same with, oh, I don't do things till the last minute, but then I go hard.
Breaking the Pattern
Jenna Free [00:11:12 - 00:12:00]: But then when I'm done, I avoid work again for the next week until I go hard again. But it's the intensity, which feels like, but I have no other choice. But we do. Yeah. I promise you, because then if we avoid the intensity, you will not swing the other way. So if you don't clean your house like a Tasmanian devil once every 3 weeks, and instead you do little bits at a time, you avoid the intensity, you are going to prevent the opposite swing of like not even picking your clothes up off the floor. So I just want you to start getting that picture of like, okay, why would I want it? Interrupt the part where I'm productive? Well, because it's creating all the times when you're so unproductive and frozen and unable to do anything at all. But that can be very counterintuitive when you're working on it.
Real-Life Results from Change
Jenna Free [00:12:00 - 00:12:37]: So for my example, I did have to stop restricting. I really hit a wall where I knew I couldn't go on like this. So as scared as I was, as anxious as I was, right? It's not like, oh, I had all my mental stuff sorted out. But I knew I can't keep pulling this pendulum to the restriction side. So I let myself eat pretty freely. I really focused on food as neutral and not having such a fear response to it. I don't have the exact dates, but I believe it was within a month that I stopped restricting. I stopped bingeing.
Finding Balance and Simplicity
Jenna Free [00:12:38 - 00:13:10]: I think it was even maybe sooner, literally, probably the first 2 weeks. And I never binged again. So I have had a really balanced and simple relationship with food, as in like, I don't care. I have no thoughts about it, no rigidity. You know, if you actually looked at what I ate, you go, oh, that person's pretty probably normal, leaning to like nutritious, but I'm not rigid in either direction, which allows me to have such peace around it. I am like in that center. There's no swinging in either direction. Pretty balanced.
Transformation Beyond Food
Jenna Free [00:13:10 - 00:13:52]: Yeah. And my God, is it freeing. So I have had this relationship with food where it's super easy and simple for over 10 years. And going back to who I was in that pendulum swinging phase, I can't even believe I have the same brain. And it's the same with so many other things, right? This is now how I function with work. I am self-employed. I have been for 10 years, but the past 3 years I've really been focusing on Sustainability, you know, slow and steady wins the race, not pulling that pendulum to the intense side. And I have been able to show up to work every single day I plan to work, which is typically 5 days a week, every single day.
Sustainability in Work and Life
Jenna Free [00:13:52 - 00:14:38]: I have no external pressure. I have no one demanding I show up, right? I can technically do what I want, but I have the capacity to show up every day in a really balanced, sustainable, Not intense burnout way. And this is what we're going for, this balance and sustainability, because that's how you build the momentum. That's how you build skills. That's how you build into a life where it does not feel effortful. Like my relationship with food was so effortful, so much mental and physical energy going to worrying about food, shopping with food, planning food, thinking about food. Because I was in the pendulum swing. So it's very disruptive, very all-encompassing.
Making Regulation a Non-Issue
Jenna Free [00:14:39 - 00:15:06]: Now that I have really no swing to the food pendulum, it's just like a non-thing. It's like no big deal. Well, same with work. When I used to be super intense, you know, say for a launch or something, I'd go so hard. I'd be anxious all day. I'd be worrying, worrying, worrying, working so much. And honestly, not even like actively productively working so much. But just in thinking about it and anxiety and dysregulation about it, and then I would collapse.
The Cost of Intensity
Jenna Free [00:15:06 - 00:15:50]: There was one point I couldn't post on social media for six months, even though that was my business's like main funnel. I couldn't post because I was so burnt out, and then if I would do something again, it would be super intense and back and forth I went. So for the past few years with my work, having that pendulum be calm is like okay, yeah, I work big whoop do do do do do. It's a non-issue. So that's what we want to do for you. Where is that pendulum swinging? So I want you to think right now, where's a few spots where that pendulum is swinging? Oh, with cleaning and tidying my home, I either, you know, I'm spinning around for 3 hours cleaning everything, or I let everything pile up. I put nothing away and I give it no attention. Okay.
Practical Ways to Soften the Swing
Jenna Free [00:15:51 - 00:17:03]: What we want to do is start by not pulling the intense pendulum out first, which is going to mean even if you feel today like, oh, I think I could run around for 3 hours and clean my house like crazy today, we're going to avoid that. And we're going to do something more sustainable. And maybe that is, you know what, I'm just going to tidy my room today. See if you can take some steps where you feel like you're not pulling that pendulum really far in any direction. Does this feel centered, balanced, and sustainable? Some other good questions to ask yourself are little markers for, you know, am I pulling the pendulum or not? Would be, could you function this way consistently for a long time? This is really good for work because most people do work 5 days a week. Could you work like this every workday for the next year? If not, you're Probably pulling the pendulum a little bit. So let go. How could you work in a way where it's like, yeah, I could show up like that for work again tomorrow and the next day and the next day? A little hint, a lot of it is not going to be doing less.
It's Not Just About Doing Less
Jenna Free [00:17:03 - 00:17:52]: Some of it will, like the cleaning example. It's actively not doing a ton at once where you burn out and then don't want to clean again for a month. But Say for the work example, it's going to be more regulation in how you do things. Are you rushing, intense, trying to do 10 things at once, feeling really hectic and anxious all day? That will burn you out. That's a pendulum pull to the extreme side, but you can still probably get as much, if not more, done one thing at a time. You know, calming the nervous system, not rushing. Trying to slow it down a little bit, you will find, wow, I actually have the capacity to probably do as much and I'm not burning out. Yeah, I could do this again tomorrow.
Letting Go of Perfectionism
Jenna Free [00:17:52 - 00:18:38]: So this is really what we're wanting to look for. And then when we get into the perfectionism of that all or nothing, we also want to look at that pendulum swing. And this is a little bit more of a mental practice, but observing where you stop yourself because of that fear of it not being all, right? It's not perfect, so I'm going to do nothing. Okay, what could you do in the middle? Maybe that's realizing, hey, I've wanted to try tennis forever, but I just know I'm going to be bad, and so I've never taken a lesson. I'm going to sign up for one lesson, right? And kind of go in expecting, hey, it's just showing up and being there. That's the win. No matter how good or bad I am, that's irrelevant, right? So it's going to be a little bit of self-talk, but it's getting out of that habit of avoidance. If it's not perfect.
Addressing Resistance and Self-Doubt
Jenna Free [00:18:39 - 00:19:26]: So that one's going to be a little bit in the opposite direction because you're more doing nothing as the default, but it's because of that setup mentally of, oh, I have to be perfect, right? If you had a mental expectation of, hey, I want to go try it out, you would not be avoiding it, right? There wouldn't be the dysregulation there that has you go all or nothing. So with each type of all or nothing thinking, an all-or-nothing behavior. We just want to observe, where am I in the extreme? How do I find the middle ground? Now that's going to bring up yeah, buts. It's going to bring up some resistance. I'm sure right now you're thinking, yeah, but then I'll never do anything. And that is the insidious trap of dysregulation. It's a lie. It is what you're currently experiencing, yes, but it's because you're on the pendulum swing.
Taking the Leap: The Truth About Balance
Jenna Free [00:19:26 - 00:20:12]: So it is a bit of a leap of faith. To go, okay, if my pendulum isn't swinging from extreme to extreme, maybe I could still get as much done, if not more. And it's a much more enjoyable process. My Lord, can I tell you that working in a sustainable way, eating in a sustainable way, working out in a sustainable way— I will say my working out, or like moving my body, has its ebbs and flows, but it's never extreme and it's never out of fear or intensity. Yeah. I just might get more into weightlifting where I'm more in the habit, and so I'll do it a little bit more often than like even right now this summer, I've been like, eh, busy. We're doing renovations. I have so much going on that going to the gym has fallen like down the priority list, but it doesn't feel like a pendulum swing.
Embracing Flexibility, Not Rigidity
Jenna Free [00:20:12 - 00:20:49]: It just feels more like an ebb and flow. So it doesn't mean we're going to be perfect all the time or perfectly balanced all the time. Of course not. This is about flexibility, not rigidity. Yeah. So there's that nuance in there as well, is we're not looking for, okay, now I can only ever do it in this middle ground way. No, you can do it however you like, but if you want to get some more momentum and you want to do things that are more sustainable, we need to decrease pulling that pendulum as much as we can. But what's really cool is once you get over that first hump of like, this is dysregulating.
Getting Comfortable with Change
Jenna Free [00:20:49 - 00:21:26]: Because not cleaning like a banshee is going to be dysregulating. Not restricting, for example, is going to be dysregulating. Not sitting and hammering that work project out in one day is going to be dysregulating because it's different. Your nervous system, it likes to do what it's been doing. It likes to remain the same because you haven't died yet. So if you haven't died yet, that must mean what you're doing is working and any change Is risky, right? Maybe that will kill me. And I say it in this language because your nervous system is so primal. That's really how serious it is.
The Hardest Part: The First Step
Jenna Free [00:21:26 - 00:22:03]: It's like life or death for your nervous system to change, to do things differently. So that's why it's so uncomfortable at first, because your body's screaming at you like, we might drown though if you do it this way. But just know, okay, the first little part is the hardest to do a little bit of redirection. Yeah. Of not going to those extremes, but oh my gosh, it can quite quickly become like, oh, duh. Of course, if I don't run around like crazy one day, then I'm not as crashed the next day. You start seeing the thread, just like with my restriction and binging. I really, for years, was like, what's wrong with me? I'm addicted to food.
Recognizing the Roots of the Problem
Jenna Free [00:22:04 - 00:22:34]: Like only looking at the binge eating as the problem. But once I saw, oh, those 2 things are tied together and it's a pendulum. Yeah. Duh. Like 2 weeks later, never binged again. It's like, oh geez, I could have done this 9 years ago. Would've saved me a lot of pain and heartache, but everything happens as it's meant to. And I learned a lot from that journey and it's really helped me a lot in the ADHD journey as well, realizing getting out of intensity, getting out of extremes and finding balance and regulation changes everything.
A Challenge for the Week Ahead
Jenna Free [00:22:36 - 00:23:29]: So, for the week ahead, I would love you to identify one place where you're pulling that pendulum and see what you can do to soften this, or even pull it less far. So if you're thinking, no, I really want to clean the house today. Okay, well, if you would normally do the whole entire house, could you just do the main floor? Right? Could you challenge it a little bit to not pull it so far where you're going to swing the opposite way? And when you do things, just remember, okay, there's going to be an equal opposite reaction. Yeah. So if there's intensity here, I'm probably going to, you know, have an effect that I don't want. So where could I relax a little bit and find more sustainability? Again, think longer term as well. If you're going into like a fitness goal with intensity that you cannot do for the next 5 years, pull it back. What is the point if you're just going to swing the other way in 2 weeks? Okay.
All-or-Nothing is Not Inherent
Jenna Free [00:23:30 - 00:24:01]: The behavior part of regulation work I know can be tough. Because our bodies are stuck in that all-or-nothing way of doing things. But please know this is not a part of your brain. It is not inherent, is not inevitable. It is simply a way your nervous system has conditioned you to maintain balance. Very exhausting though. And as someone who was an extreme all-or-nothing thinker and is now quite a balanced thinker, and I really prioritize that when I see it show up, is, ooh, let's redirect here. Less work, more enjoyable, more productive.
Invitation to Engage and Continue the Conversation
Jenna Free [00:24:02 - 00:24:32]: Please let me know where you notice those pendulum swings. Put it on the comments on Spotify or put it in the reviews in Apple Podcasts. I would love to hear it. You're also welcome to email me anytime or DM me on Instagram. I'm always here to answer questions and to help you out. So I do hope you join us on August 5th for this regulation call all about the purpose of life. Is it really about checking off to-do lists till we die? I refuse to believe that. And that's kind of what brought me here.Jenna Free [00:24:33 - 00:24:59]: And I'm sure you refuse to accept that as well. And you're wanting more depth and more richness in your life. And the same mechanism that allows you to enjoy life and have a rich, meaningful life also will make you more productive and less in that stuck paralysis or intense place. So that's what's so cool is it really comes together as a package deal. Win-win-win. So we'll see you there and we'll see you next week.