5 Daily Habits to Stop ADHD Nervous System Dysregulation

You did it again. You meant to eat lunch, but it's 3 pm, and you've had half a coffee and a handful of chips. You've been holding it together all day with caffeine and sheer willpower, and somehow you still feel like you're running behind on everything.

Maybe you've been told you're not disciplined with your routine. But in reality, it's your nervous system in survival mode, and some of the most ordinary parts of your day are quietly keeping it there.

This episode covers five external things that are probably fueling your ADHD nervous system dysregulation without you even realizing it. Not the deep internal work that comes later, but the low-hanging fruit that's worth addressing right now.

Here's what we cover:

• Why caffeine and ADHD medication can push your nervous system into fight or flight, and how to find the threshold that works for your system instead of against it

• How not eating enough, even when you're not hungry, sends a danger signal to your body and makes ADHD regulation significantly harder

• Why scrolling feels like relief but is actually soothing dysregulation instead of healing it, and why that difference matters more than most people realize

• The bathroom break you keep skipping and why using physical discomfort as urgency fuel is quietly training your nervous system to need more stress just to function

• How an all-or-nothing schedule creates the exact frantic-crash cycle that keeps ADHD burnout on repeat, and what a more sustainable rhythm actually looks like

• Why ADHD executive functioning struggles, inconsistency, and overwhelm are nervous system symptoms first, and why that reframe changes everything about how you approach them

This one is for you if you're doing your best, you're trying to hold it all together, and yet by the end of most days, you feel like you've been running a race you didn't sign up for. These five things won't fix everything, but removing them as obstacles gives the real regulation work somewhere to land.

"Regulating as an ADHDer is going to reduce your symptoms, increase your executive functioning, and make life much more enjoyable."

Jenna's book, The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation, covers the internal work that makes all of this actually stick. Available wherever books are sold, and yes, your library probably has it.

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More about ADHD with Jenna

ADHD with Jenna Free is a podcast for adults with ADHD who are done surviving their symptoms and ready to start thriving with ADHD without the endless tips, hacks, and workarounds that have never really fixed anything.

Hosted by Jenna Free, a Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC) and ADHD therapist, this show exists to give you a completely different way of understanding ADHD in adults and the signs of ADHD in women. Because the reason you're stuck, overwhelmed, and exhausted isn't a lack of willpower, it's that your brain is running in fight or flight. And once you understand that, everything changes.

This podcast covers the full experience of living with adult ADHD: the real science behind procrastination in ADHD and ADHD task paralysis, ADHD executive functioning strategies that work, why ADHD and perimenopause collide in ways no one talks about, and the honest, solution-focused conversations that most ADHD podcasts aren't having. Jenna also shares her own story, what it looks like to go from chronically dysregulated to genuinely thriving, so you can see that this is possible for you.

This show gives women with ADHD, and anyone who has ever wondered whether ADHD can be diagnosed in adulthood, a path forward that isn't about coping harder, but healing.

I’ll answer questions like:

Do I have ADHD?

What is ADHD task paralysis, and how do I get unstuck?

Why is my ADHD getting worse in my 40s?

What does ADHD and perimenopause do to your brain?

How do I manage ADHD emotional dysregulation without medication alone?

Why do I procrastinate so much with ADHD? 

Why don't ADHD tips and tricks ever work long-term?

What does it look like to thrive with ADHD

Can you heal ADHD symptoms without just white-knuckling through life?

What does nervous system regulation have to do with ADHD?

How do I stop feeling overwhelmed with ADHD?

If you're an adult with ADHD who's tired of the commiseration and ready for a show that believes your life can look completely different, you're in the right place.

The unedited transcript for this episode of ADHD with Jenna

ADHD and the Nervous System Connection

Hello, and welcome to the ADHD with Jenna podcast. Today we are diving into five things that are probably keeping you in fight or flight that you might not realize. So if you are new here or you need a little reminder. ADHD in the nervous system are deeply connected. So most of our symptoms, like paralysis, the inconsistency, that frantic crash, trash cycle we get stuck in overwhelm, aren't just ADHD doing its thing. This is a nervous system stuck in fight or flight. So today's episode is all about the practical five things that you can change externally in order to help your regulation and make it easier to do so.

These aren't the whole picture. This is really the cherry on top. The meat of the work is going to be the internal regulation, but these things are definitely not going to hurt and only help your efforts. Okay? And regulating as an ADHDER is going to reduce your symptoms, increase your executive functioning, make life much more enjoyable. So these five things will really help with those efforts.

1. Caffeine and Stimulants: The Hidden Trigger

The first is caffeine and stimulants, including your ADHD medication. So doesn't mean we can't drink caffeine, doesn't mean we can't take our ADHD medication. It's just something to be aware of because I know for me, my most dysregulated day I've had in years was a few months back when I had two really strong coffees and an energy drink.

Like a fool, I had too much caffeine and it did push me over into dysregulation. And I really noticed it when I was doing a post on my Instagram and I was typing the caption. I was in such a rush to get it done, to move to the next thing. I stopped mid caption and I went, I'll do this later. I went, oh, my goodness, look at the strong effect this caffeine is having on me. I had not felt that way in so long. That urgency, that not being able to finish things, that frantic energy. So caffeine and our stimulants are going to affect that in us.

So it's that go, go, go feeling that can feel like productivity, but it's really just activation through the stress chemicals and signs. You're dysregulated on caffeine or your meds is going to be intensity that crashes hard afterwards. So a lot of people will say that, like, oh, in the short term, the meds are great because it shoves me into this productivity mode, but it's kind of overshooting what we're going for which is, yes, sometimes we need the meds to get us, you know, stable enough and with enough energy to function and move forward. But we don't want it to be shoving you so intensely that it feels like you're running down a hill. You know when your feet are like barely staying under you and you're trying to run down that hill and keep yourself upright. That feeling does not need to be there for your medication to be working. And if caffeine tips you over into that, that is also a sign that this is going to hurt us actually in the long run. So you're going to feel it physically with your heart racing, feeling wired.

Even if you're able to focus, if it's like an intense hyper focus feeling, any intensity really would be a sign of dysregulation. So this isn't about quitting caffeine, this is not about stopping your meds. It's about noticing what it's doing to your system for the medication. Of course, I'm not a doctor, talk to your doctor. But this could be, you know, oh, maybe it's just a bit too much. Need to lower the dose a bit. So it gives me that energy I want or whatever it is you're hoping to get from your meds, but it's not pushing me over into that frantic state. And then same with caffeine.

Maybe one caffeinated coffee is great, but then after that you switch to decaffeinated or maybe two. For me it's two. Two coffees a day really works. And usually like one Diet Coke or something like that. I've really cut down on the energy drinks. If I do get into a dysregulated state from caffeine, it's typically from something like that, which is just a bit too much for my system. So it's just being able to find that balance. And that's really what regulation is about, is about balance.

Not about a hundred percent cutting things out or being extreme in either direction. All right, Number two is not eating or not eating often enough.

2. Not Eating Regularly: Impact on the ADHD Nervous System

So when the body perceives a lack of food, it is perceiving danger. We need to remember that our bodies are really primal, animalistic beings. If we don't think we have enough nourishment even from just being distracted, so we don't eat or dieting or your medication dampening your appetite. Just because you don't have an appetite doesn't mean your body isn't wanting fuel. Right? So we gotta remember that and we can really shift into defense mode when your Body feels like there's not enough food, it's going to go into a bit of a panic mode and it's going to have the blood flow leave your digestive system, go to your limbs so you can run and fight and hunt. Get that food again.

We really are primal beings that reframing is going to help you understand yourself a lot more. So even if you're not physically hungry during the day, whether it be because of your medication, the dysregulation that has you hyper focusing and keeping super busy, but hunger just regulates the nervous system again, even if it's not felt physically. So even something small at regular meal times gives your body this signal that you're safe and you're resourced. So what do we do about this? Really, what I'm telling you is prioritize that a little bit more. When you're in fight or flight, you're going to feel like, oh my gosh, there's so much to do. So I don't have time to eat, especially if I'm not super hungry. Why would I take that time? Stop, go do something else. Right? Go make some food or even find a protein bar.

Right? It doesn't have to be anything elaborate. So this is what you want to do is okay, how do I prioritize this more? Maybe it's alarms at mealtime and you really try to practice taking that seriously and just do what you can do with it. That might mean, okay, the capacity I have right now is to grab a granola bar. At least it's something that is so much better for your body than going all day without food. If you can have a real meal, a sandwich, throw a sandwich together, you know, I will say I prioritize my food quite a bit. And I buy prepackaged meals for my lunches every weekday. So I go on Mondays, I buy five meals. There's this place that has these like prepped, really delicious lunches.

It is a similar price to eating lunch out every day. It's somewhere pretty affordable. But I find it really worth it because then when I'm working at home, you know, I have a lot going on. To actually stop and cook lunch is very unlikely. And so historically, especially when I was dysregulated, I would just grab chips or, or I would grab nothing until I was absolutely starving and then just eat a bunch of random snacks and it never felt good. I don't think it was honoring my body very well. It didn't feel good physically. And so having those lunches just ready to go really is a great way that I prioritize eating.

So I do put a little bit of monetary investment in that, which I know is not always possible, but if you can, it's like, well, what are my priorities? And eating should be one of them if you want to get out of fight or flight. All right, number three is scrolling.

3. Compulsive Scrolling: Soothing vs. Healing Dysregulation

Why does it feel so good? Well, the stimulation, the distraction, the dopamine, the illusion of connection. It's a break from your discomfort. But what it's actually doing is soothing dysregulation, not healing dysregulation. And when you soothe your dysregulation, instead of actually regulating it, like healing it from the inside, doing the work we need to do to say, hey body, we are safe. No need to be dysregulated in this way. If we're not doing that and we're soothing it, the discomfort will come back stronger and you need more soothing to get the relief.

So the more we use things like scrolling to soothe our dysregulation, the more you're going to need it. It really is like a snowball effect. So this is the cycle behind compulsive scrolling, compulsive eating. Because I know we just talked about not eating, but I know eating just to soothe your dysregulation can be a problem as well. Spending substance use when any behavior feels compulsive, meaning I can't not do this. I'm not choosing to do this. This is not a conscious choice. It's usually a sign that the nervous system needs tending to.

So these things aren't inherently bad. I'm not saying don't ever scroll again. But if we are using the scrolling to soothe like, oh, I'm so uncomfortable and this makes me feel better, or how did I even get here? I didn't even know I picked up my phone to start scrolling. That is something we want to be aware of. All right. And number four is not going to the bathroom when you need to.

4. Ignoring Bathroom Needs: Creating Urgency in ADHD

So adhders joke about this, but it is a real thing. Holding, especially when we gotta go pee, holding it creates low grade urgency in the body.

And urgency is fight or flight. So many of us unconsciously use the physical pressure as a motivation tool. So say you're, you know, writing emails and you really have to go pee and you're like, oh, finish these emails first. It's like creating this panic rush in you because you have to go and it's uncomfortable and you want to get done as quickly as possible. You might be consciously or subconsciously Using that to get yourself moving. But that urgency costs you. You'll have more capacity and focus if your body isn't signaling this distress all day. So it feels like getting up and going to the bathroom will break your flow.

I know it can feel like getting up and going the bathroom is going to break, you know, this rhythm you're in with your work. But it really is a vicious cycle because if we think, oh, but if I get up now, I won't finish this and I'll be distracted. So I'm going to stay. I use that urgency and that intensity and that discomfort to get me rushing through this. Rushing through it, get it done. Finally go to the bathroom. We're going to keep using that. You're going to keep doing that.

Because when we're in fight or flight, I get it, it is a bit risky to leave a task while you're doing it because there is a chance you might get distracted by something else, not feel like finishing it when you get back. But we have to break this cycle somewhere. If you keep using urgency, even subconsciously, of having to go to the bathroom to get things done, nothing is ever going to get any better. So this week, if you notice, oh, I really have to go to the bathroom. But I'm choosing to continue doing this work. Instead of going, see what you can do. See if you can break that cycle and go, okay, it's fine to stop here, go to the bathroom and come back and continue. It is worth it, I promise you.

I understand. Maybe it takes a minute to get back into your work. It's worth it. It's worth that investment. And it will get easier and easier the more you do it. All right, number five is a lopsided schedule.

5. Lopsided Schedules: The All-or-Nothing ADHD Trap

So often when we are in fight or flight, we are in all or nothing thinking. So we cram everything into one day and thinking, oh, my God, that's so great.

If I could get everything done today, that's. Then I don't have to do anything tomorrow. But that intensity and then collapsing is the nervous system and that dysregulation cycle again. Intensity, nothing. Intensity, nothing. One of the biggest things we are aiming for with regulation work so that you can function much better, is balance. We're balancing our thinking. So instead of all or nothing thinking, we want to be flexible.

Instead of a frantic crash cycle, we want do, do, do, do, do energy. Instead of doing everything on Monday and nothing on Tuesday or everything Saturday, get everything done. So Sunday I don't have to do anything. Those extremes are actually making it worse. So the goal is for days to feel like, oh, yeah, I could do this every day without burning out. This is a repeatable day and that's how we want to live every day. I saw something recently and I apologize, I don't know exactly where the source was, um, but it said, live your day as if it's your life. A lot of time we discount the day going, oh, it's just a day, but the days add up and that's the kind of life we live.

So we really want to look at, was today sustainable? Was today an energy of do, do, do, do, do, or was I really trying to, you know, get everything done so that tomorrow I feel like I'm off and I don't have to show up? That daily life is also how your life is gonna look, all or nothing. So we really want to prioritize spreading those meetings out. You know, even in your day. We could really get a little bit granular with this of, oh, do I shove three meetings in the morning, so I'm open all afternoon, but how does that work out for you? Right? Maybe it sounds like that would be nice, but maybe those back to back meetings drain you so much that then that focus time you thought you'd have, you don't have energy to even use it. So would you be better off having a morning meeting, do some work, an afternoon meeting, do some work, and then a meeting mid afternoon? Would that actually in reality serve you better? It might sound more draining because your brain is trying to get everything over with. But again, regulation work is such a domino effect. So when we think of these things now, like, oh, spread my meetings over the day. No, because then I'm going to be in waiting mode all day.

I'm not gonna be able to focus until all my meetings are out of the way. That is dysregulation. So I understand there's a bit of a rock and a hard place where we don't wanna make the changes because we're afraid that's not gonna work for us. But we're only afraid it's not gonna work for us because we're dysregulated. But that's why we're making the changes. So it is tricky. And there's a little bit of a leap of faith in this work of, okay, let me try to create a more balanced life for myself.

I want my day to feel more balanced, my week to feel more balanced, my month to feel more balanced, so that I can live in this do, do, do energy. So I'm not burning out. And so we make the changes first, right? Let's spread those meetings out throughout the week and then see what comes up for you. And it might be, oh, this is so uncomfortable. Because then I'm just waiting for the meetings all the time. Well, let's work on the regulation. So you're not doing that when you are regulated. Waiting mode, it does not exist because you feel safe.

It's like, okay, I have myself set up, so I'm not gonna forget that meeting, right? Whether it be an alarm or something where I get it, we need some support sometimes, but I'm allowed to focus for these couple hours between meetings and do my work. And we would really look at thoughts, beliefs, physical dysregulation, behavior dysregulation that has that feel out of reach for you. So those are five really strong external starting points and things you can work on right now, right? So it's observe your caffeine. How is that making you feel? Cause it's gonna feel nice. And stimulants as well. Until it doesn't. We get a good judge of, like, where that line is for you. And you may find you're quite predictable.

For me, two coffees is my sweet spot. When I have a third in the afternoon, I often regret it. Sometimes I'll still do it, but I'll go, oh, yes, too much for me. Eating more regularly in any way, shape or form that you can, and prioritizing that scrolling and observing, ooh, what is this doing? It's making me feel better in the short term, but it's really not helping in the long run. Going to the bathroom when you need to go to the bathroom, and spreading your schedule out so your mornings, times of the day, days, weeks feel much more sustainable and like, they have a nice flow, a little bit of balance there. So this is like the tips and tricks version of regulation work. I love a little thing to work on, but please know this is not going to be the thing that's going to all of a sudden have you regulated all the time. That is the deeper work.

Internal Regulation: The Deeper ADHD Work

That's internal. Shifting your nervous system's baseline out of fight or flight and into a regulated state takes the internal work. So that's going to be how you physically function, your thoughts and beliefs and your behavior. But this is a really great place to start. So if you want to dive deeper, definitely grab my book, the Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation that is available wherever books are sold or borrowed. They're also at the library. It covers the internal work that makes all of this actually stick. So play with these external pieces today, and then if you're ready to do the internal work, I'm always here.

Thank you so much for being here today, and we'll see you next week, Sam.