How to Break the ADHD Frantic Crash Cycle for Good
You wake up already behind. Your brain is running a thousand tabs at once, your body won't settle, and you're physically moving but mentally spinning out. Then, a few hours later, you've hit a wall. Exhausted, foggy, wondering how you were doing so much just a little while ago.
That frantic crash cycle isn't a personality quirk. It's your nervous system in fight or flight, and the way most of us have learned to work with it is quietly making the swings wider, not smaller.
This episode is about why the ADHD frantic crash cycle is so hard to break, what's driving it, and what it looks like to start healing it instead of just riding it out.
Here's what we cover:
Why the crash is not the problem, but the receipt for the frantic phase that came before it, and why you can't fix one without addressing the other
How the belief that the crash is inevitable keeps you pushing harder during the frantic state, which only deepens the cycle
Why advice like "ride your high energy when you have it" is one of the most damaging things an ADHDer can hear, and what it's doing to your nervous system
The ADHD identity trap: how consuming symptom content online solidifies a fixed view of who you are, and why that makes genuine healing nearly impossible
Why ADHD dysregulation is not innate to who you are, even if it's been your norm for decades
What interrupting the frantic state looks like in real life, and why it's less dramatic than you'd expect
The difference between coping with ADHD symptoms and genuinely healing them, and why tips and hacks will only ever keep your head above water
If you've been on the roller coaster long enough that you've started to believe it's just how you're wired, this episode is for you. If you're tired of the crash, tired of the cycle, and ready to get off the ride instead of just managing it better, this episode will shift how you see it.
"The frantic and the crash are one thing, not two."
Ready to stop hacking and start healing? Jenna's ADHD Groups program is open now through this week if you want to work on nervous system regulation for ADHD at the root level.
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More about ADHD with Jenna
ADHD with Jenna Free is a podcast for adults with ADHD who are done surviving their symptoms and ready to start thriving with ADHD without the endless tips, hacks, and workarounds that have never really fixed anything.
Hosted by Jenna Free, a Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC) and ADHD therapist, this show exists to give you a completely different way of understanding ADHD in adults and the signs of ADHD in women. Because the reason you're stuck, overwhelmed, and exhausted isn't a lack of willpower, it's that your brain is running in fight or flight. And once you understand that, everything changes.
This podcast covers the full experience of living with adult ADHD: the real science behind procrastination in ADHD and ADHD task paralysis, ADHD executive functioning strategies that work, why ADHD and perimenopause collide in ways no one talks about, and the honest, solution-focused conversations that most ADHD podcasts aren't having. Jenna also shares her own story, what it looks like to go from chronically dysregulated to genuinely thriving, so you can see that this is possible for you.
This show gives women with ADHD, and anyone who has ever wondered whether ADHD can be diagnosed in adulthood, a path forward that isn't about coping harder, but healing.
I’ll answer questions like:
Do I have ADHD?
What is ADHD task paralysis, and how do I get unstuck?
Why is my ADHD getting worse in my 40s?
What does ADHD and perimenopause do to your brain?
How do I manage ADHD emotional dysregulation without medication alone?
Why do I procrastinate so much with ADHD?
Why don't ADHD tips and tricks ever work long-term?
What does it look like to thrive with ADHD
Can you heal ADHD symptoms without just white-knuckling through life?
What does nervous system regulation have to do with ADHD?
How do I stop feeling overwhelmed with ADHD?
If you're an adult with ADHD who's tired of the commiseration and ready for a show that believes your life can look completely different, you're in the right place.
The unedited transcript for this episode of ADHD with Jenna
Understanding the Frantic Crash Cycle
What Is the Frantic Crash Cycle?
Jenna Free [00:00:47 - 00:01:23]: [00:00:47] Perhaps you've come out of your cave and all of a sudden I'm feeling rushed. [00:00:52] I have to do everything now. [00:00:54] I have this sense of being behind, like I just woke up and I already am overwhelmed by the day ahead. [00:00:59] I have so many tabs open in my brain, my body won't settle down. [00:01:03] I am running around physically, but I might also be in paralysis. [00:01:07] But I'm mentally running around. [00:01:08] I'm frantically thinking about all the things I need to do and it is this intense state. [00:01:15] And then maybe after work, maybe later that day, maybe in 10 minutes, oh, I have crashed.Jenna Free [00:01:24 - 00:01:55]: [00:01:24] I am so exhausted, I can barely think of what to eat for dinner, nevermind actually cook it. [00:01:30] I feel like a different person than I was earlier. [00:01:34] How was I doing so much. [00:01:36] And now I'm feeling absolutely debilitated. [00:01:40] So this is the cycle we are going to be talking about. [00:01:43] Because this is not inevitable, this is not anything of your choosing. [00:01:48] This is a system. [00:01:49] In Fight or Flight, the frantic and crash are one thing, not two.
Why the Crash Isn't the Only Problem
Jenna Free [00:01:56 - 00:02:53]: [00:01:56] So most people think the crash is the problem, right? [00:01:59] We kind of like the frantic energy. [00:02:02] Maybe not in the experience of it, maybe not in the long run, but in the short term it's like, oh, thank God, at least I got some things done, at least I ran around. [00:02:10] So they want to know, okay, well, how do I get back up? [00:02:12] How do I recover faster, how do I push through? [00:02:15] And how do I get out of this stuck feeling? [00:02:17] But the crash is just the receipt for that frantic phase you were in. [00:02:22] We cannot solve the crash without addressing what came before it. [00:02:27] And sometimes this doesn't click for a little while. [00:02:29] And not because we're not smart, but because we're in it for so long, we think the crash is inevitable. [00:02:37] So why do we stay in this cycle? [00:02:38] Well, if I believe that my tendency or my rhythm in life is to run around like crazy and then there's this inevitable wall I'm going to hit, I'm going to work really Hard, too. [00:02:51] And I was for many, many years, decades.Jenna Free [00:02:54 - 00:03:18]: [00:02:54] Because it, quote, unquote, works, right? [00:02:56] That frantic energy, that frantic phase gets things done. [00:03:00] I am physically moving. [00:03:02] I have pressure, I have urgency. [00:03:04] It feels productive. [00:03:06] Especially when we've connected with this idea of like frantic energy. [00:03:09] Anxiety and intensity equals productivity. [00:03:12] Probably a very strong connection for you of those two feelings. [00:03:17] Of course I'm going to keep doing it.
Beliefs That Sustain the Frantic Crash Cycle
Jenna Free [00:03:18 - 00:04:08]: [00:03:18] And a big ingredient in that cycle is the belief that the crash is inevitable. [00:03:25] Because if we think it's coming anyways, yeah, I'm going to push as hard as I possibly can to get as much possibly done, because I know the crash is coming. [00:03:33] However, while we need to understand is, is we are a human being living all of these phases of life, I'm not one person when I'm in my frantic energy and one person in the crash. [00:03:47] It's all connected. [00:03:48] We gotta start seeing the through line. [00:03:51] And the through line is that intensity is what creates the crash. [00:03:55] When you are in that frantic, dysregulated energy, which is what that is, that's us in fight or flight. [00:04:00] We are stealing energy from our future self and we are doing that to no fault of our own and is absolutely not on purpose.Jenna Free [00:04:09 - 00:05:02]: [00:04:09] That is what a system that feels unsafe does because we are primal beings. [00:04:15] So if you're getting chased by a bear in the forest, that is the best energy to have is, like really intense, get away from the bear energy and then collapse in the cave energy. [00:04:25] That makes sense. [00:04:26] But we are not in that situation, so it's actually detrimental. [00:04:31] And here's another trap we can get stuck in of why we stay in this. [00:04:35] There's advice floating around, sometimes from coaches, sometimes just from the ADHD community that says to ride the high energy when you have it. [00:04:43] I actually had a client who came to me, they joined groups and they were saying, oh, yeah, my last ADHD coach actually told me to, you know, take advantage of it when I have that energy, just give it my all. [00:04:56] And that tells me that coach believes that this frantic crash cycle is inevitable.
Jenna Free [00:05:02 - 00:05:55]: [00:05:02] And all we can do is ride the roller coaster the best we can. [00:05:06] But this is actually making the cycle worse. [00:05:08] When you push harder during the frantic state, it's borrowing even more energy from your future self, burning more of that energy. [00:05:16] And that means the crash is going to be deeper, it's going to be longer, it's going to be more challenging, and then the swing gets wider, not smaller. [00:05:26] We are going really gung ho to crashed out, maybe for longer and longer periods of time. [00:05:33] And I do find that frantic crash cycle works until it doesn't. [00:05:38] I would say most of my clients are 30 plus, because I think sometimes in our 20s, it's like, okay, I can get through in that cycle. [00:05:49] But you do reach an age or an energy level where you're like, I cannot function like this anymore.
ADHD, Identity, and the Frantic Crash Cycle
Is the Frantic Crash Cycle Part of ADHD Identity?
Jenna Free [00:05:55 - 00:06:43]: [00:05:55] And something that might be coming up for you is this idea. [00:05:57] But that's who I am, right? [00:05:59] And thinking that being in that frantic crash cycle is honoring my neurodivergence and it's accepting myself, it is not. [00:06:06] It has nothing to do with your neurodivergence. [00:06:09] Yes, your neurodivergent brain is in fight or flight because it's neurodivergent. [00:06:13] Right? [00:06:14] We're different. [00:06:15] We're living in a neurotypical world that has put us in fight or flight, but that's not innate to who we are. [00:06:21] So that is a belief system that we really need to note is, oh, do I believe trying to change my symptoms, trying to work on this experience lessens who I am, flattens who I am, makes me neurotypical. [00:06:38] If you believe your symptoms is who you are, nothing will ever improve.The Impact of Symptom-Focused Content
Jenna Free [00:06:45 - 00:07:54]: [00:06:45] And even though we're talking about this frantic crash cycle today as our focus, I do want to have a second focus of this identity piece. [00:06:53] I have really seen this kind of come to the surface in my awareness the past couple weeks of the reason that symptom content, the ADHD narrative, especially online right now, is so detrimental. [00:07:08] And it's been bugging me. [00:07:09] I'm like, interrupting myself mid sentence, but it's been bugging me lately. [00:07:13] And I'm like, why is this, like, so dysregulating to me? [00:07:15] Like, why seeing all these posts, why is this bugging me? [00:07:18] Because I know what it's doing. [00:07:20] And what it's doing is every time you consume that symptom content, you are solidifying your identity as an ADHDer who has these concrete symptoms that cannot be changed. [00:07:32] And this is who I am. [00:07:34] The minute your ADHD and your rigid views of ADHD and the symptomology of ADHD becomes who you are, there's no way to heal it, there's no way to get out of it, because your brain psychologically wants to sustain your identity, it doesn't want to change it.Jenna Free [00:07:54 - 00:08:22]: [00:07:54] Shaking your identity is, like, so scary for your system. [00:07:59] So, yes, we're talking about the frantic crash cycle, but I know I talk about that a lot, so maybe you've heard that a lot, but you need to hear it a hundred times. [00:08:06] Or else we're never going to get out of it. [00:08:08] This is like positive brainwashing. [00:08:10] But the identity piece is a little bit newer. [00:08:12] I haven't talked about that a lot, and so I want you to really sit with that. [00:08:16] Do you see yourself as someone who just has really different energy levels? [00:08:20] And I need to honor that. [00:08:21] That's just who I am.
Jenna Free [00:08:24 - 00:09:03]: [00:08:24] Because if that's how you see it, we gotta start with dismantling that. [00:08:28] Your identity is your future. [00:08:31] Who you think you are is who you will be. [00:08:35] And this is why I highly recommend turning off any people you follow who do symptom content. [00:08:42] Meaning. [00:08:42] Isn't it so hard? [00:08:44] This is what it's like, isn't it? [00:08:45] Here's what this symptom's called, right? [00:08:48] All these labels we slap on. [00:08:50] Paralysis, procrastination, waiting mode, impulsivity, dopamine seeking, even. [00:08:58] I understand those labels are helpful at the start, and I'm not saying there's no place for them.
Jenna Free [00:09:04 - 00:09:47]: [00:09:04] However, that terminology, the second it starts turning into this is who I am and it becomes concrete, it starts solidifying. [00:09:13] Then we go down a path where this is unhelpful, back to our regularly scheduled programming. [00:09:20] Okay, so the only place you have any powers in the frantic state, everyone asks me, how do I get out of the crash? [00:09:27] How do I get back moving? [00:09:28] Okay, I understand the frantic state, but when I'm in the crash state, what do I do? [00:09:32] Nothing. [00:09:34] You can't regulate from the bottom of a crash. [00:09:37] That is not the moment for intervention. [00:09:39] The work happens upstream before that, and we cannot go back in time. [00:09:44] So. [00:09:45] So you're not going to be working on before that crash.
How to Break the Frantic Crash Cycle
Preventing and Softening the Crash
Jenna Free [00:09:47 - 00:10:31]: [00:09:47] But what we're going to work on is preventing the next one or softening the next one. [00:09:53] So think of a crash as, oh, I've run a marathon and my legs are sore and I can barely walk. [00:09:59] Yeah, we don't ask, okay, how do I get back to running another marathon today? [00:10:03] No, we accept that we need to rest. [00:10:06] Well, that's what a crash is. [00:10:07] If you've been functioning like a chicken, running around with your head cut off, and you go, why can't I keep doing that forever? [00:10:14] Sorry, you can't. [00:10:15] As great as you are, nobody can. [00:10:19] All right, so I want to give you a little example of what this actually looks like in real life. [00:10:22] To be aware of the frantic crash cycle and adjust within it and adjust it in real time.Real-Life Example: Recognizing and Interrupting the Cycle
Jenna Free [00:10:31 - 00:10:59]: [00:10:31] So I have this vivid memory of a couple years ago. [00:10:36] I had an hour between calls, so I had a little bit of a break in my workday. [00:10:39] It was Christmas time and. [00:10:41] And my brain immediately started running through everything I could do in that hour. [00:10:44] Oh, I could wrap my kids gifts, I could send some emails, I could do laundry. [00:10:48] I wanted to plan a podcast episode. [00:10:50] And instead of doing any of it, I notice I froze. [00:10:53] Kind of like those memes we see where, like the person's glitching, like going this way and that way, but I'm not doing anything.Jenna Free [00:11:00 - 00:11:28]: [00:11:00] But I caught it. [00:11:01] I recognized what was happening. [00:11:03] I was in that frantic state, right, Trying to do everything at once. [00:11:07] Everything was a rush. [00:11:08] It's all now or never. [00:11:10] Staring at that brick wall, if you've heard my analogy before, Kind of like a brick wall versus a brick path. [00:11:16] When we see the brick wall, it's all stacked in front of us, creates that overwhelm it's impossible to do, and we get stuck in it. [00:11:23] So I was in that frantic space, But I recognized that immediately.
Jenna Free [00:11:30 - 00:12:15]: [00:11:30] I took a breath and reminded myself I can only do one thing at a time. [00:11:35] The ability to interrupt it and do this is a testament to the work because, like, I did a lot of training of my system beforehand to be able to do this. [00:11:44] You're not going to, you know, have not worked on this at all, and then magically be able to get back into the flow when you're in, like, that frantic, intense state. [00:11:55] But if we stay in that frantic, intense state, we know we're going to crash. [00:11:59] So I spotted it immediately and I went, okay, let me slow down. [00:12:06] Start with one thing at least. [00:12:07] So I picked wrapping the gifts. [00:12:09] I took the tape and the paper upstairs, put some TV on, and I just wrapped the presents.
Jenna Free [00:12:15 - 00:12:31]: [00:12:15] I was not trying to get it over with, wasn't trying to rush. [00:12:18] I could do all the things in that hour really aware of. [00:12:22] Oh, yes. [00:12:23] I want to sustain my energy. [00:12:25] I want to sustain my regulated state. [00:12:28] So I'm going to try to avoid going up into that. [00:12:29] Oh, my God, I got to get everything done. [00:12:31] Do, do, do, do, do.
Jenna Free [00:12:31 - 00:12:56]: [00:12:31] Let me hammer this hour out and get everything finished. [00:12:35] And I got those presents done. [00:12:37] I wasn't exhausted afterwards. [00:12:39] I didn't fall into a crash afterwards. [00:12:41] And that's what interrupting the frantic state looks like. [00:12:44] It's not dramatic. [00:12:45] It's kind of a physical change. [00:12:47] Like, okay, instead of being tense and trying to get everything done and be in a rush, I slowed down, took a breath, and a lot of it is that conscious choice.
Jenna Free [00:12:56 - 00:13:21]: [00:12:56] I made a decision. [00:12:57] Oh, yes. [00:12:58] Even though I feel like I want to do everything, I'm aware I can't. [00:13:01] I can only do one thing at a time. [00:13:03] And I choose the thing that used to happen to me constantly be in that overwhelm, visualizing all the things I wanted to do. [00:13:13] And now it almost never does. [00:13:15] So that was a couple years ago that happened. [00:13:16] But I don't think things like that have happened in a while now.
Jenna Free [00:13:21 - 00:13:52]: [00:13:21] I've been sharing lately that I haven't been in paralysis for two years. [00:13:25] And that is just a bloody miracle because I was in functional freeze for decades. [00:13:32] Meaning, yeah, I was living life, but barely. [00:13:35] Like, just doing the bare minimum. [00:13:38] Like overwhelmed by showering, overwhelmed by getting dressed in the morning. [00:13:41] I vividly remember in college was probably my most dysregulated. [00:13:45] Funny enough, that was like the easiest time of life where I had to least responsibility. [00:13:49] Which shows you it's not about the external, it's about the internal.
Jenna Free [00:13:53 - 00:14:16]: [00:13:53] But me and I lived in this house with all these girls. [00:13:57] It was so fun. [00:13:58] And one of my roommates was like, oh, do you want to walk to the grocery store? [00:14:02] And I was like, can we drive? [00:14:03] It was literally a block away. [00:14:05] I was like, I don't want to exert myself in any way. [00:14:10] I didn't have to. [00:14:11] That's how I was functioning. [00:14:13] And I do not do that anymore. [00:14:15] I exercise.
Jenna Free [00:14:16 - 00:14:52]: [00:14:16] I'm actually right after this episode, about to go to my tennis lesson. [00:14:20] I work very hard. [00:14:21] I have a book that came out. [00:14:23] I'm pitching my second book now. [00:14:25] It is like night and day. [00:14:27] All because I was aware of this cycle and I started retraining my system to find the balance and not get sucked up into the frantic anymore. [00:14:36] So please know when you're in the crash trying to fix it, that is not the place to do anything about it. [00:14:44] We can have awareness of going, ah, I see me Being in that rushing around, intense state got me here.
Steps to Recognize and Interrupt the Cycle
Jenna Free [00:14:53 - 00:15:29]: [00:14:53] Okay, so now the work is not how do I get back into the groove? [00:14:57] The work is, okay, once I notice I'm coming out of the crash and back into the frantic, can I soften that? [00:15:05] Can I not go up to a 10 right away? [00:15:08] That's the work. [00:15:09] So step one is learning to recognize the frantic state. [00:15:12] You have to know when you're in that fight or flight response. [00:15:15] And that is in my free guide. [00:15:17] If you haven't grabbed that yet, the physical signs and then how to interrupt them, that's that physical piece. [00:15:22] So you can start with that. [00:15:24] Then we really need to name when it's happening. [00:15:27] Oh, I'm in the frantic state.Jenna Free [00:15:29 - 00:16:05]: [00:15:29] Or I'm in fight or flight, whatever you want to call it. [00:15:32] That allows us to see when we're in it and then we want to interrupt it. [00:15:36] That'll look like in the beginning stages, physically slowing down, right? [00:15:41] Realizing, oh, I'm trying to do 10 things at once, that's physically impossible. [00:15:45] I like my little mantras of I can only do one thing at a time. [00:15:49] There is no rush. [00:15:51] Oh, these aren't trying to convince you to remove yourself from life. [00:15:57] These are trying to convince you to do less. [00:15:59] What these are doing is affecting how you function, not how much you do.
Regulation Is Not Detachment
Jenna Free [00:16:05 - 00:16:53]: [00:16:05] Because a lot of people will think regulation is about detachment, doing less, saying no to more things, having boundaries. [00:16:12] Just don't go after all your dreams and goals. [00:16:15] Absolutely not. [00:16:16] The way I do regulation work is, oh, I actually want to achieve so much in life. [00:16:22] I want to do so much that I better get out of this. [00:16:26] Swinging from one extreme to the other, get a firm grip on this nice balanced road and go. [00:16:32] You are going to be so much more productive, so much more successful, so much more enjoying life when you are working on getting out of this cycle. [00:16:44] These steps are simple technically, right? [00:16:47] It's like notice when you're running around like crazy, slow down, take a deep breath, one thing at a time.Jenna Free [00:16:54 - 00:17:34]: [00:16:54] That's pretty basic and I'm sure it's nothing you haven't heard before. [00:16:58] But the key here is one, the mindset of letting go of these rigid symptoms and these symptoms and the cycle as your part of your identity. [00:17:08] So there's a lot of mindset work there. [00:17:10] And then the second is the longevity of these efforts. [00:17:15] When you're in it, the urgency feels real. [00:17:18] It feels like you have to do everything quickly. [00:17:20] And so there's going to be a lot of rewiring mentally to do to get this to be kind of your normal way of functioning. [00:17:29] Because I'm sure you've been told, hey, slow down, one thing at a time, just relax.
Jenna Free [00:17:36 - 00:18:09]: [00:17:36] You've been told that a million times. [00:17:37] So why isn't it happening? [00:17:39] Well, because there's a lot more to it than just the actions we're taking. [00:17:42] There's going to be some very deep rooted belief systems that have been created because of this state you've been stuck in. [00:17:49] And we need to untangle those. [00:17:51] If we sustain the way we're thinking, if we sustain the way we're acting, if we sustain the frantic crash cycle, our symptoms cannot get better. [00:18:01] Nothing is gonna change. [00:18:03] Yes, you can keep your head above water with all the tips, tricks and hacks. [00:18:06] That's all it will ever be, is keeping your head above water.