Stop Chasing ADHD Quick Fixes: A Better Way to Manage ADHD

You've tried the calendars, timers, apps, and planners. You've saved the TikToks and bought the book everyone recommended. And somehow, you're still in the same place, looking for the next thing that's finally going to make your ADHD easier to handle.

That's not a "you" problem. For most ADHDers, the entire approach to ADHD management is built around quick fixes, external tools, and tips and tricks that promise relief without ever touching what's really driving the symptoms. The band aids can work for a couple of weeks, then they peel off, and the cycle starts again.

This episode is about the two approaches to ADHD management: the band-aid approach, where you're hunting for the next external tool to patch a symptom, and the transformational approach, where you do the internal work that makes the band aids actually stick. Jenna also gets into why so many ADHDers get stuck in information overload, and what to do when you've been learning for years without much changing.

Here's what we cover:

  • Why the band-aid approach to ADHD management stops working the moment you're dysregulated, and how survival mode makes even the best calendar system fall apart

  • What the transformational approach looks like, and why it requires slowing down enough to feel uncomfortable at first

  • The three areas of regulation Jenna works with (nervous system, thought and belief, behavior), and why nervous system regulation for ADHD on its own is not enough

  • How to spot when you're chasing a Band-Aid without realizing it, including the one-minute-video trap and the compulsive purchase pattern

  • The 75/25 ratio Jenna recommends between transformation and band aids, and how to tell when you've tipped too far one way

  • Why ADHD is an implementation problem, not an information problem, and what information hoarding is actually soothing

  • How to notice when you've crossed the line from helpful learning into ADHD information overload, and what to do with the screenshots you've never opened

  • The shift Jenna is making in her language around regulation, and why she's moving toward calling this work the ADHD reset

This one is for you if you've tried every ADHD tool, app, and planner you can think of, you're starting to suspect that the tips and tricks approach isn't going to get you where you want to go, and you're ready to look honestly at what real ADHD management could actually look like.

"Unless you're working on transformation and real change internally, band aids are just going to peel right off."

Grab Jenna's free The ADHD Regulation Guide to start building the internal-regulation foundation that makes the rest of this work possible.

If you're a clinician working with ADHD clients, Jenna's ADHD Regulation Method certification is now open for the waitlist.

And Jenna's book, The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation, is available wherever books are sold. You can also check your local library, since they have it too.

Connect with Jenna

Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram

Get out of paralysis, be more productive, and enjoy your life again! Join an upcoming group

 

More about ADHD with Jenna Free

ADHD with Jenna Free is a podcast for adults with ADHD who are done surviving their symptoms and ready to start thriving with ADHD without the endless tips, hacks, and workarounds that have never really fixed anything.

Hosted by Jenna Free, a Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC) and ADHD therapist, this show exists to give you a completely different way of understanding ADHD in adults and the signs of ADHD in women. Because the reason you're stuck, overwhelmed, and exhausted isn't a lack of willpower, it's that your brain is running in fight or flight. And once you understand that, everything changes.

This podcast covers the full experience of living with adult ADHD: the real science behind procrastination in ADHD and ADHD task paralysis, ADHD executive functioning strategies that work, why ADHD and perimenopause collide in ways no one talks about, and the honest, solution-focused conversations that most ADHD podcasts aren't having. Jenna also shares her own story, what it looks like to go from chronically dysregulated to genuinely thriving, so you can see that this is possible for you.

This show gives women with ADHD, and anyone who has ever wondered whether ADHD can be diagnosed in adulthood, a path forward that isn't about coping harder, but healing.

I’ll answer questions like:

Do I have ADHD?

What is ADHD task paralysis, and how do I get unstuck?

Why is my ADHD getting worse in my 40s?

What does ADHD and perimenopause do to your brain?

How do I manage ADHD emotional dysregulation without medication alone?

Why do I procrastinate so much with ADHD? 

Why don't ADHD tips and tricks ever work long-term?

What does it look like to thrive with ADHD

Can you heal ADHD symptoms without just white-knuckling through life?

What does nervous system regulation have to do with ADHD?

How do I stop feeling overwhelmed with ADHD?

If you're an adult with ADHD who's tired of the commiseration and ready for a show that believes your life can look completely different, you're in the right place.

 

The unedited transcript for this episode of ADHD with Jenna

Jenna Free [00:00:00]: Welcome to the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast. Today we are talking about the two different approaches you can take when working on ADHD and making it better. We have the band aid approach and I was calling it the surgery approach, but someone said that kind of sounds like a lobotomy. So we're not going to say that. I'll say the transformation approach, right? The, the little quick fixes versus the actual true big long term change approach. And, and then we also are going to talk about information versus implementation. Something we can get really stuck in as ADHDers is information collecting, if you will, like, oh my gosh, I need to know more, I need to know more, I need to know more.

Jenna Free [00:00:44]: And we're going to talk about why that keeps us stuck and why we do that and what we can do instead. Today's episode is brought to you by the new and improved ADHD guide that I have available for you. I have changed it a little bit and we are going to be talking about the three types of regulation you need in, in order to get out of all of the symptoms you're dealing with in order to be more productive, less stressed, and have more enjoyability in your life. So be sure to check that out in the show notes and we'll dive right in. All right, so there are two approaches you can take when working on adhd. When you're trying to make your symptoms better, you're looking for a solution. What are the two different types? So the first is the band aid approach. And I don't say this to dismiss it, because sometimes we need a band aid, right? If you have a cut, you need a band aid.

The Band-Aid Approach to ADHD

Jenna Free [00:01:29]: So it's not that there's no place for band aids, but if we are really struggling and most of you listening are going to be struggling enough that you're seeking help, right? Seeking learning and support. So if we use a band aid for something big, something that we're struggling with, it's not going to be very effective, right? Or you need to keep putting new band aids on. So, for example, buying those, know that next calendar, that's going to be the solution. That next notebook that's going to help you, that timer, that app, that physical item, how is that going to help if you've tried the 50 before it and those didn't help, not going to say that it's useless, right? I still have a very. On the video showing my calendar, I have a very strong calendar. Practice, if you will. I find that tool, that band aid, for my symptoms to be so so helpful. But the problem with the band aid approach is trying to find that external quick fix, that tip, trick hack, or external tool to better your ADHD symptoms.

Why Band-Aids Fail in ADHD Survival Mode

Jenna Free [00:02:37]: The problem there is that if you are dysregulated, if you're in survival mode, the band aids work even less effectively. So when I was dysregulated, I couldn't keep up with the calendar, and now that I'm more regulated, the band aid tool, the external tool that I am using, is truly helpful because I'm not in survival mode. When you're in survival mode, we are just, you know, flying by the seat of our pants. We're in reaction mode. We're not able to sit methodically, thoughtfully and intentionally to even use a calendar. I really want you to think right now, because for a lot of ADHD years, using a calendar is a struggle consistently. And I use one every single workday for everything I do. And I quite frankly, do not know how an ADHDER is surviving without a good calendar system you were using because it's so helpful to me.

Jenna Free [00:03:34]: And I know you're like, well, I don't use one. There's no shame in that. But damn, you're doing pretty good because that's really hard to keep track of everything without it. But I'm able to use it every single day because I am regulated, I'm calm, I'm present, I'm not in a rush. When you are dysregulated, that calendar you keep trying to use, it's not that you're, you know, can't plan, can't prioritize, aren't smart like you are smart enough to use a calendar. It's ridiculous to say otherwise, but really look at. Is it. Because I don't have time for that.

Jenna Free [00:04:07]: I have so much going on that it slips my mind and I'm in such a rush, I'm in reactivity all day that I don't have a quiet moment, think, oh, yeah, let me check my calendar. What was I going to do this afternoon? There's no slowing down. There's no moment to be mindful to think about it. That's the problem with the calendar for us. Not that we're not good at it, not that we can't do it, and not that it's not going to be helpful in the future. But this is why the band aid approach, band aids for adhd, yes, are helpful. But even if you're going to take that approach or using band aids, you know, for those little external tools that are putting a patch on one of our struggles. You are also going to want to do the transformational approach, though, with it if you want those band aids to be more effective.

Jenna Free [00:04:56]: So really want you to think, next time you're struggling with a tool, a strategy, a timer, an app that you got for your adhd, really sit with it. And this is even a regulated way to do it, right? If you're dysregulated, you don't sit with it, but take a minute and go, huh, what is that about? Why am I not using it? Is it because I'm, you know, not smart enough to use it? And I feel like that's the narrative. Like, we just can't use a calendar. No, you can, but if you are in dysregulation, if you are in a rush so much of the time that you don't spend time with it, you don't look at it because you don't have time in your mind, no, it's not going to be effective. And then we get frustrated and we think, look, I can't do it. It's not working. And then we throw, you know, all or nothing thinking, throw the baby out with the bathwater if we haven't used it perfectly. And that is just regulation as well.

The Transformational Approach: Internal Work and Regulation

Jenna Free [00:05:43]: So the transformational approach is different than the band aid approach. Again, not saying you're not going to use both, but the transformational approach is understanding there's internal work to be done. There's probably some learning to do is not going to happen overnight. We're going to have to build up awareness, and then we're going to have to build up some practices, and then I'm going to have to start doing things differently. It's slower. And when we're dysregulated and in a rush, all the time, slower feels dangerous literally to your system to slow down and go, hey, we don't need to find that quick tip trick hack that's going to solve all our problems. Today. We are safe to slow down and learn about this.

Jenna Free [00:06:27]: And I mean learn about this as in sit down. You know, even listening to this podcast is learning about a philosophy without listening to something and hoarding information about, try this, try this, try this. So it's learning, but it's more wrapping your head around a different way to tackle life, which takes time. And then when you have an awareness, we need to implement it. Transformation comes with a lot more implementation. Band aid approach, yes, there might be a purchase of a product and then you use it, but there's not much practice that needs to Go into it. Right? You just do it. But clearly.

Jenna Free [00:07:06]: Actually, we might need practice with the calendar and things like that. But the transformational approach really means internal work, understanding. Ah, there's lots of work I can do inside myself without needing to add anything new on the outside. And so obviously that's the approach that I take. Because unless you're working on transformation and real change internally, again, band aids are just gonna peel right off, if you will. You're gonna keep putting that band aid on, it's just gonna keep falling off. But when we do the transformational work, that inner work in this world of ours, of course, we're focusing on regulation, the three different types of regulation, mental regulation, right? In our thinking, we have our nervous system regulation and then regulating our actions, which in that new guide, I do break that down more. It's just a different way to think about it.

Jenna Free [00:07:55]: But when we work on all those types of regulation, you are then going to be able to use your band aids effectively. Win, win, right? So if you were like, no, I really love calendars. These tools are so helpful for me. That's amazing. That's amazing. And if they were enough, you probably wouldn't be here and. Or if you've had them and they help a little bit, they help for a couple weeks and then you kind of fall off the wagon, if you will, with these tools, just know, oh, that could get better with the transformational work. So let's put the two together.

Signs You're Chasing an ADHD Band-Aid Fix

Jenna Free [00:08:23]: Okay? Sometimes we're seeking the band aid approach even when we don't realize it, because when we are dysregulated, we are in such a rush that we want the answers and we want them now. And anything where we want the answer now is going to be a band aid. Right? Like you're listening to a half an hour podcast every week and probably still wrapping your head around some of this stuff and still hopefully practicing little things here and there and just learning about a different way of thinking. That takes time. If you don't have time for a podcast, which sometimes when I post, this is why this conversation was brought up. I posted something recently and someone's like, I love the part where you tell us how to do it. If you think I can explain an entirely counterculture philosophy that ADHD symptoms are actually because of dysregulation and being in survival mode. Like, the worst of it is from that, explaining why that affects your ADHD symptoms, explaining why regulation would help, and how to effectively regulate in three different areas in a one minute video.

Jenna Free [00:09:28]: Like, you don't really want to know. You just want to get it done right. You want to get it over with. And you are seeking a Band Aid. So that person is dysregulated. I can tell you right now, because they're unwilling even to go to say, click over to the podcast and listen. It's like, no, I don't have time to click over the podcast and listen. Tell me in this one minute video that is a Band Aid approach.

Jenna Free [00:09:50]: That is a dysregulated approach dealing with adhd. And I don't blame them for it, because when you're dysregulated, a lot of the times we don't have the awareness that we're doing that right. We just feel so desperate and in such a rush. Oh my God, I need the solution and I need it right this second. So if you don't tell me in this one minute video, you suck and I don't have time for this, I get that, I really do. But we need to start being aware of that in order to change. So some little signs, like what I just talked about, that you're looking for band aids even if you don't realize it. One looking for the solution in one video.

Jenna Free [00:10:22]: If you think one TikTok video is going to give you the solution to your ADHD issues, we're dreaming. Okay? The one minute video is only ever going to give you. It may give you an insight and that's what most of my videos are more like an awareness or an aha moment or an insight. But it's not necessarily giving you the whole solution, right? Because that would be way too long if you don't have time to hear about a philosophy, right? It's like, oh, I have no time to hear about any background information. Just get to the point. Even in some of my one minute videos, people are like, this is too long. Get to the point. We're dysregulated.

Jenna Free [00:10:54]: If you cannot hear two sentences of context to what the point is talking about, we know, oh, I'm in too much of a rush. I'm so dysregulated that I can't absorb the information that's being shared. And that's just something you can be aware of. Third thing is, if you're really on the train purchasing things, physical products to help with your adhd, again, a calendar, a timer here and there, totally cool. But if you notice, wow, I'm really in a like money spending, which is a dysregulated behavior when it's money you don't want to Be spending the. Feels compulsive, you know, consuming pattern to try to help my adhd. That's very much a band aid, right? I'm seeking this physical thing to heal me, right? I'm slapping this bandaid on and if you're. It's like it's endless.

Jenna Free [00:11:49]: I just buy thing after thing after thing to try to cope with my adhd. I really encourage you. Take a deep breath, get regulated about that, right? Come back down to earth, which I say that absolutely lovingly because that's what dysregulation is, right? It's like I am disconnected from my body. I'm disconnected from the present moment. I do not have my feet firmly on the ground. In reality, I am just keeping my head above water and reacting and really lost in our heads. When we're dysregulated, we're really living in our heads and not in our bodies and in our surroundings. So if you really find you're on that purchasing train or even money spending, even if it's not about adhd, but just like stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff is going to help fix any problem I have, really take a deep breath about that and just notice the urgency the next time you go to purchase something for your ADHD or otherwise and just think, can I slow down Even my internal experience right now? Okay, you know, slow down the thinking.

Jenna Free [00:12:54]: We can interrupt our thinking. It might be. Slow down. You might have to say that to yourself out loud. Because I could, you know, you go to buy something, okay, if I get this timer, then that'll help me with this and then this will do. Okay, Do I really need this? And I'm saying for the people who are like, oh my God, this is out of control. I'm just buying 10 million things. They're all in my drawer and I haven't used any of them.

Jenna Free [00:13:14]: So that's something you can consider. And then the focus on the external. If you have spent more time focusing on the products and the external tools and tricks than you have on your internal experience and awareness. We're going more band aid than transformation. And I think probably like the best equation would be like 75% of your time is spent on transformation, meaning the internal work. Example, learning about this philosophy we talk about here with the ADHD reset and regulation work and then 25% band aids, what calendar would work best for me? Things like that. That would probably be a pretty good ratio to keep you regulated. But helped.

Information vs. Implementation: The Real ADHD Problem

Jenna Free [00:13:54]: We need that scaffolding of the tools. I totally get that. So the next thing I Wanted to discuss was information versus implementation. As dysregulated ADHDers, we can really get stuck in information overload, meaning I am not really doing anything and when I learn stuff, I don't really do anything with it. But I'm on a constant hunt for learning. This can be very similar to the constant hunt for like external tools and purchasing a bunch of things. But it's like, okay, I'm, you know, going down a rabbit hole on TikTok about ADHD and learning all these tips and tricks and I've saved a thousand different posts. Okay, but have we done anything with any of them? I've read five ADHD books.

Jenna Free [00:14:38]: That's awesome. And what are you doing about it? Right? ADHD learning only goes so far. So I did say, like, I totally get that we might need to learn, for example, this philosophy. We need to understand it to understand what we're trying to do with it. But there is a line we cross where we're going into almost hoarding mentality. So what is happening there? Just like someone who hoards physically. And I say this completely with non judgment. What's happening there is I don't feel safe.

Jenna Free [00:15:12]: I am dysregulated. I need all these physical things around me to feel safe. Well, information hoarding or digital hoarding often for ADHD is like, I have 30,000 screenshots. All I do is keep asking for book recommendations and maybe listening to them or reading them, but I don't really do anything about it now. I'm just on to the next book or, you know, social media. I talk to a lot of ADHDers about social media use and one kind of rebuttal that comes up when I'm kind of saying we gotta challenge our use of social media because it's not good for our brains. Especially when we're doom scrolling and they say, yeah, but like, I've learned so much from it. I found you on, you know, Instagram or it.

Jenna Free [00:15:52]: It allowed me to get an ADHD diagnosis. I got a lot of benefit from it and I get that. But just because something did one good thing for you doesn't mean it's not hurting you now. So we really want to look. Yeah, maybe that first five things you learned were helpful, but now that you're on the 59th thing you're learning, is it starting to hurt you? So when you are even on this podcast, I know you're here to learn and I love that for you and I want you to keep going with this podcast. But if you are just Listening to this to make yourself feel better, like, oh, look at me, I'm trying, But then not even thinking about this kind of stuff throughout the week, what good is it doing? And I'm kind of shooting myself in the foot there, except saying, don't listen to me, but do keep listening. That sometimes is enough. Especially when we're talking more about like, insights, perspective, thinking in a new way.

Jenna Free [00:16:49]: So hopefully you take these little nuggets with you throughout the week and you and you kind of see things in a new way as you go into your life. But if listening to this podcast only remains in this half an hour, work together and you don't think about this outside of it, and you're not aware of your behavior in a different way, and you're not trying things in a different way, like even practicing, slowing down or observing when you're not present, stuff like that, it does come to a point where it's useless. It's a waste of time. Again, hopefully you would go into like, oh, let me, sure, I'm implementing, not let me just not listen ever again. But that is something you can consider, am I in this kind of information hoarding habit? Learn, learn, learn, learn, learn, learn, learn. When are we going to do. And I get that. That's kind of our struggle, right? They say ADHD is not an information problem or an intelligence problem or knowledge problem.

Jenna Free [00:18:27]: Well, wait, did the other 50 I've saved, have I ever looked at those? Let me observe my information hoarding behavior here. Check in with yourself. Maybe it's, you know what, I'm gonna stop saving all of these tips. Maybe you're still gonna watch it, right? It can be balanced. It's gonna be all or nothing. But, you know, I'm gonna stop saving all these because all that's doing is making me feel better. It's not actually helping, right? And by making you feel better, I mean soothing your dysregulation when you are doing that and you're like, okay, I'm gonna save this and save this and save that. You are soothing dysregulation.

How Information Hoarding Keeps You Stuck

Jenna Free [00:19:05]: You feel safer. Just like the person who's physically hoarding that has all the products and the stuff around them. It's like, oh, feels better for a second, right? But of course, in the end, they're not happy. They don't want that. And we don't want that either. I don't want a phone that has no data left on it because it has all this stuff that I feel I need to be safe even though I'm not using it. Right. It's illogical.

Jenna Free [00:19:27]: When our behavior is illogical, meaning that makes, you know, that makes no sense. It makes no Sense to save 30,000 screenshots that I'm never going to look at. Not in a shame, blame way. Remember, there's never room for that in this work. But we can go, huh, isn't that interesting? Curiosity over judgment. We don't want to judge what we do. We don't want to judge the behavior. We want to look at it with curiosity.

Jenna Free [00:19:51]: Isn't that interesting that I have so many screenshots about all the things I want to do, the things I want to buy. The ADHD tips, let me think, like, I really never went and looked at them and utilized them. Or maybe I did one out of 30,000. I always say 30,000 because that's. I did a poll and that was like the most common number of people of how many screenshots they had on their phone. It tells us something, right? Is, ah, I'm in my, like, safety hoarding energy here. The reason it's so important to identify that is because it's keeping you stuck. When we are, you know, say, on TikTok and saving all these posts or screenshotting a bunch of stuff that placates our struggle just enough to not actually implement anything.

Jenna Free [00:20:40]: It's like, okay, well, I'm feeling really worried. I'm so dysregulated. I'm really struggling. I screenshotted those five things that's going to help me. That feels better. But they sit in your photos. You don't do anything with them. They're not actually making anything better.

Jenna Free [00:20:59]: It's just soothing your concern and soothing the dysregulation that keeps us stuck. It just makes you comfortable enough to not go make change and you can get stuck there for literally decades. So we really want to be aware of it so that you can start realizing what's happening and going, ah, okay, I am just Collecting information. I literally haven't done anything with it for six months since I got my diagnosis. I've done nothing with all this stuff I've saved. Yes, maybe you bought a few calendars, maybe you bought a few tools, but really, look at all the information you've been taking in. And are you utilizing it? Yes. If you read a book and then you get a few really big ahas from it, and now it's changed how you act and what you do, that's great.

Jenna Free [00:21:44]: That's enough. You don't have to take every single tiny thing from every book you read. That's unrealistic. But just observe. Am I taking it all in to make myself feel better, or is actual change happening here? Because I know you want actual change. Right? You wouldn't be here listening to me ramble on about this if you didn't want to make change. So that's what we want to take away from today, is observing in the coming week and building awareness. How much am I looking for a band aid fix here? Am I in a rush? Am I, you know, are you even frustrated with this episode? Because it's like, oh, my God, get to the point, get to the point.

Jenna Free [00:22:17]: I'm in a hurry up. Get it over with. Ooh. Okay. So am I taking a band aid approach where I'm in a rush, desperate to find a solution that's going to heal everything today, or am I able to take the insights in? Am I able to just build a little bit of awareness and have that be enough and understand that this is going to be a journey? Because in order to transform, which is what we're going for, it takes time. Right? Transformation doesn't happen overnight. So we wanted to observe that. And then we also want to observe is the information I'm taking in information I'm using, or is it information I am taking in just to make myself feel better, just to make myself feel more regulated? Okay, so as you move forward, I did want to share a little shift just in the way I've been explaining regulation, because I've become more and more aware of my language online and how I talk about this work.

Clarifying What Regulation Actually Means

Jenna Free [00:23:17]: And I think it's so important that I'm crystal clear in what I'm talking about, what I mean when I talk about regulation. So if you're interested in, like, understanding this philosophy a little more, I'm just going to share this for a few minutes. So the first is the word regulation. I use that word a lot because it is the foundation of what I do and how we can work on your adhd. But one, people think, I mean, emotional regulation. I don't mean that. Right. People always message me, oh, yeah, I really, I totally agree.

Jenna Free [00:23:51]: I think emotional dysregulation is my problem. I'm like, I never said emotional dysregulation, but I get it because that's what a lot of other adhder talk about and other ADHD coaches talk about. I'm not talking about emotional dysregulation. Emotional dysregulation is the inability to regulate your emotions. But why? Why do we have the inability to regulate our emotions? Because we're dysregulated, we're in survival mode. It has nothing to do about the emotions. Right. That's just the thing that shows up, that's the symptom, that's not the cause.

Jenna Free [00:24:22]: So I am not talking about emotional dysregulation. The other thing that comes up for people when I say regulation is nervous system regulation. They assume I mean nervous system regulation only. And they think, well, I've done that. You know, I've tried. That didn't work. I've done somatic exercises. I've done this, I've done.

Jenna Free [00:24:38]: That didn't work. Okay, moving on. I don't mean either of those things by regulation. What I really mean is three areas of regulation that need to come together to create a way of being that is different enough and challenges what we've been stuck in enough to get us out of survival mode. Nervous system regulation is not enough. I have found that if you are only dealing with your body, then your actions and your thoughts are going to derail that are going to put you back in dysregulation. So this is why it's all three areas. So moving forward, I'm going to be using the language of the ADHD reset more, which is these three areas of regulation so that people can go, well, wait, what is that? And have more of an understanding of what I'm talking about.

The Three Areas of Regulation Behind the ADHD Reset

Jenna Free [00:25:27]: So the three types of regulation I'm talking about when I say regulation and now when I say the ADHD reset, which is this approach, one, nervous system regulation's in there. Okay? That's a part of it for sure. Your biology needs to be on board with the fact that you are safe. There's no bear chasing you. You're okay, there's no rush. Everything's fine. Physically, that is a part of it, but without the other two, it's not strong enough to do what we want it to do. The second is thought and belief regulation.

Jenna Free [00:25:59]: Meaning how am I thinking in a dysregulated way? What beliefs do I hold? And some of my most popular posts are when I say, like, hey, we believe I'm behind. I need to catch up. There's not enough time in the day. All of these thoughts that are, oh, no, right. Puts you right back into dysregulation. So, yes, you might regulate your nervous system, maybe do some deep breaths. You physically slow down. Oh, that's great.

Jenna Free [00:26:23]: But then your brain goes, yeah, but we're behind. We need to catch up. Nervous system triggered, right back into dysregulation. That's why we have to work on both. Then. The third is behavior regulation. I don't love that word for it. So if anyone has another word, I could call that one, please let me know.

Jenna Free [00:26:42]: Or, like, actions regulation, like regulating how we act. Because a lot of what we do in our behavior and our patterns are come from dysregulation. It's rooted in the fact that we're in survival mode. Like, all or nothing, right? I'm either doing everything perfectly or I'm not doing it at all. That behavior is because of dysregulation, so we need to be aware of it, and then we can work on it. Procrastination, that is because of dysregulation. That is behavior that is rooted in the fact that you're in survival mode. Even paralysis, even the act of being in paralysis is like, oh, I see what's happening here.

Jenna Free [00:27:19]: And I'm not saying we have control over behavior all the time, but we need to be aware of how our behavior and actions are tied into dysregulation so that we can work on all of it together. Because once your thoughts and your nervous system are more regulated, it is much easier to work on our behavior. Right? I wouldn't say go straight for behavior regulation and try to do things differently without regulating your thoughts and your nervous system, but it's like a nice little triangle, all three. We need to be aware of and continuously working on all three areas gently, not intensely. It doesn't have to be overwhelming. But this is what I'm talking about when I say regulation. So as you move forward, just consider that if you say you're taking deep breaths or say you're slowing down, and hopefully that even that will create a little glimmer for you of, like, ooh, that's providing a little relief. I'm sure it won't solve all your problems, but you may be seeing a little bit of.

Observing Dysregulation in Everyday Life

Jenna Free [00:28:16]: I see what Jen is talking about, but just know there's more to it than that. We're going to dive into doing more than just the nervous system regulation work. It's important, but it is not enough. So as we move forward, observe what we talked about today in your ADHD coping, you know, strategies and we will go from there. We really can identify dysregulation in every area of our lives, including how we're dealing with ADHD even, right? So that's why I love, you know, the reset the ADHD regulation work, because it is touching everything. It gets its grubby little fingers in everything and we can make it better. It can make your relationships better, work better, home life better, internal experience better. Honestly, that's my favorite one.

Jenna Free [00:29:06]: I want to enjoy my damn life and this work allows us to do that. And you deserve it too. So thank you so much. Please, if you feel anyone's kind of been in the, like, information seeking mode and you think this would be insightful for them, please share the podcast as the best way for it to grow and find new ADHD years in this philosophy. Or even if you're like, oh, I have a friend that has adhd, they might be interested in this philosophy. You can share the first episode as well. But thank you so much for being here. We'll see you next week and we'll keep going from there.

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The ADHD Regulation Method: What It Is and How It Works