Why ADHD Therapist Training Falls Short and What Clinicians Need
If you work with ADHD clients, you already know the feeling. You give them a solid strategy, they leave the session energized, and two weeks later, they're back where they started. Not because they didn't try, or because you didn't help. But because something underneath isn't being addressed.
This episode is for clinicians, therapists, coaches, counselors, and social workers who are ready to understand what that missing layer is and what becomes possible when you start working at the level of the nervous system.
Jenna shares how she developed the ADHD Regulation Method after hitting her own wall as both an ADHDer and a therapist, why most ADHD therapist training leaves practitioners with a patchwork of strategies but no clear clinical path forward, and what changes when regulation becomes the foundation of your work
Here's what we cover:
Why ADHD isn't just an attention issue. It's a nervous system chronically stuck in fight or flight, and why that distinction changes everything about how you treat it
The real reason ADHD clients don't follow through on strategies, and why labeling it non-compliance misses the point entirely
What the frantic-crash cycle looks like from the inside, and how to start recognizing it in the clients you're already seeing
Why adding more tools to a dysregulated system is like trying to have a rational conversation with someone mid-panic attack, and what to do instead
How working at the level of the nervous system makes everything else you already do with clients more effective and longer lasting
What shifted for one client who had tried general therapy, ADHD coaching, and every hack available, and what really moved the needle
How to start putting on your "dysregulation goggles" and see your ADHD clients through a new clinical lens, starting this week
If your ADHD clients are trying and still not moving forward, something underneath isn't being addressed. This episode is where to start.
"ADHD isn't just attention. It is a nervous system that is stuck chronically in fight or flight."
Jenna is offering a free clinical reference guide, How to See Dysregulation in Your ADHD Clients, when you join the waitlist. You'll receive it as soon as you sign up, plus you'll be the first to know about her free live training for clinicians in September and her upcoming private podcast on ADHD nervous system regulation.
Connect with Jenna
Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram
Get out of paralysis, be more productive, and enjoy your life again! Join an upcoming group
More about ADHD with Jenna
ADHD with Jenna Free is a podcast for adults with ADHD who are done surviving their symptoms and ready to start thriving with ADHD without the endless tips, hacks, and workarounds that have never really fixed anything.
Hosted by Jenna Free, a Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC) and ADHD therapist, this show exists to give you a completely different way of understanding ADHD in adults and the signs of ADHD in women. Because the reason you're stuck, overwhelmed, and exhausted isn't a lack of willpower, it's that your brain is running in fight or flight. And once you understand that, everything changes.
This podcast covers the full experience of living with adult ADHD: the real science behind procrastination in ADHD and ADHD task paralysis, ADHD executive functioning strategies that work, why ADHD and perimenopause collide in ways no one talks about, and the honest, solution-focused conversations that most ADHD podcasts aren't having. Jenna also shares her own story, what it looks like to go from chronically dysregulated to genuinely thriving, so you can see that this is possible for you.
This show gives women with ADHD, and anyone who has ever wondered whether ADHD can be diagnosed in adulthood, a path forward that isn't about coping harder, but healing.
I’ll answer questions like:
Do I have ADHD?
What is ADHD task paralysis, and how do I get unstuck?
Why is my ADHD getting worse in my 40s?
What does ADHD and perimenopause do to your brain?
How do I manage ADHD emotional dysregulation without medication alone?
Why do I procrastinate so much with ADHD?
Why don't ADHD tips and tricks ever work long-term?
What does it look like to thrive with ADHD
Can you heal ADHD symptoms without just white-knuckling through life?
What does nervous system regulation have to do with ADHD?
How do I stop feeling overwhelmed with ADHD?
If you're an adult with ADHD who's tired of the commiseration and ready for a show that believes your life can look completely different, you're in the right place.
The unedited transcript for this episode of ADHD with Jenna
[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to the ADHD With Jenna Free podcast. [00:00:13] If you work with ADHD clients, this one's for you. [00:00:17] And if you are an ADHD client yourself, you're probably going to find this interesting as well. [00:00:21] But this is really for clinicians to use this work to support their clients. [00:00:27] So welcome. [00:00:28] First, let's check in with you today. [00:00:30] How are you feeling? [00:00:32] How is your regulation? [00:00:33] Are you rushing right now? [00:00:35] Are you tense? [00:00:36] Holding your breath? [00:00:39] See if you can interrupt that, slow down, be present with what you're doing, and we'll go from there.
Jenna's Journey as an ADHD Therapist
[00:00:47] All right, So I wanted to share a little bit about my journey as an ADHD therapist, how I started out and then how I got to creating this framework. [00:00:55] So you have a little bit of context of, you know, how did we even get here? [00:00:59] Then I'll be sharing the gap that I see in the current treatment of ADHD that we're seeing most commonly what the missing layer is and then what changes we can see with clients when we work at the level of regulation. [00:01:14] So when I first graduated, I had no ADHD training. [00:01:20] If you are a clinician, I'm sure you know that as well. [00:01:22] You get very little specific training when you're getting your schooling. [00:01:26] It's more general. [00:01:27] So I did a couple courses for ADHD in particular, so I could feel more confident in working with ADHD clients. [00:01:34] And I got my ADHD ccsp.
[00:01:38] It is a course, I guess, online. [00:01:40] It's pretty popular, and I got that right away. [00:01:43] And it was helpful. [00:01:45] I mean, absolutely better than nothing. [00:01:47] But the underlying message felt like, hmm, we're not sure what to do with these clients. [00:01:53] So try this hodgepodge, this mix of various strategies, and see what sticks. [00:02:00] And that's really what I find, is that most ADHD training and approaches carry this implicit message that there's nothing we can really do to truly heal and move things along and have true transformation with adhd. [00:02:14] So all we can do is cope, keep our heads above water, give the tools, give the strategies, call it a day.
The Birth of the ADHD Regulation Method
[00:02:22] So this approach, the ADHD regulation method that I use with my clients and I now teach other clinicians to use, really was born from being an ADHDers myself and working with other ADHDers and believing we deserved more than this. [00:02:40] I really hit a wall of I am unwilling to live a life that felt like survival mode. [00:02:47] There's no reason for it, right? [00:02:49] I know we all have hardships, but, I mean, I had a family I loved, I had a roof over my head, I had food on the TABLE There was really no need for me to be functioning as if a bear was chasing me all the time. [00:03:01] It was very hard to truly enjoy, even rest, even when I wasn't working or doing things that are more challenging, I still was not having a very good time. [00:03:12] It was so hard to stay present. [00:03:14] I really was living in a way where I was trying to get life over with. [00:03:19] And that is what we see in ADHD clients again and again and again. [00:03:23] And so I really was thinking, okay, I refuse.
[00:03:26] So what are we going to do about it? [00:03:28] How are we going to get out of this state? [00:03:30] And so as I started, I was using those tools that I was taught, right, give them this strategy, give them this tool. [00:03:38] But of course, that client would be excited, take it with them, come back to the next session, probably a little defeated, going, oh, I didn't do it, or it didn't work, or whatever the case was. [00:03:49] Or I'd used it for a few days, and then it fell off. [00:03:53] And of course, therapy and support for ADHD ERs is not just tools and strategies. [00:03:58] People might see that more as coaching, but even in therapy, occupational therapy, coaching, and, you know, if you're a social worker, whatever's going on, what we often kind of steer to is behavior cognition work. [00:04:11] Of course we're gonna talk to these clients about, you know, how are you feeling? [00:04:16] Let's process your emotions around this experience. [00:04:19] But there's not a lot of work we're providing to actually lessen the symptoms and make things better. [00:04:26] So that is what I noticed with the clients coming back going, oh, well, it didn't really do anything.
Understanding the Frantic Crash Cycle in ADHD
[00:04:32] And that was very frustrating as someone trying to help people. [00:04:35] But I understood because I was in the same situation as an ADHD or myself. [00:04:40] So the trend I saw most prominently when working with so many clients for many, many hours was we are all in this frantic crash cycle. [00:04:49] Myself and every single client I'm working with, we are all habit stuck in these two modes. [00:04:55] Go, go, go, gotta get everything done. [00:04:58] Or I'm completely debilitated, I can't move, I have no energy. [00:05:02] And that crash feeling, and we fling from one side to the other. [00:05:06] And I started to see, well, that's not working.
Link Between ADHD and Fight or Flight
[00:05:10] And realizing just from my schooling and my practicum, I did, oh, you know, these are symptoms of being in fight or flight. [00:05:18] So if every ADHD I'm talking to, including myself, is in fight or flight, let's work on that. [00:05:23] And that's really where I started narrowing in on the approach that came to be as the ADHD regulation method is really informed by my past work in intuitive eating, recovering from binge eating, there's some very similar elements around, like having to retrain the brain and think in a different way and do things in a different way and find balance again. [00:05:44] So that is another element that kind of came into the mix and got us here. [00:05:49] But I have used the ADHD regulation method with over a thousand clients and we are getting the most amazing results. [00:05:57] What is so cool about it is there's no physical homework, right? [00:06:04] You don't have to fill out worksheets, you don't have to do too much between sessions. [00:06:08] You do need to be aware and remembering to think about it. [00:06:13] So of course we need to set up with our clients.
[00:06:15] Okay, how are we going to keep this on our mind? [00:06:17] And that takes a little bit of work, but that's really it. [00:06:20] Otherwise it's just perspective changes, awareness and doing things a little bit differently, but living the life you're already living. [00:06:28] So that is so exciting. [00:06:30] And today I'm sharing the piece that changed everything clinically. [00:06:34] When I made this shift from, you know, what I was taught, tools, tips, strategies, to regulation, it was huge. [00:06:43] So here's the gap I'm seeing. [00:06:45] Currently, most ADHD training is a collection of strategies, tips and worksheets. [00:06:50] Even if you go look at what kind of continuing education can I get with ADHD, most of them, I'd say 90% are workshops, like one off hour or two trainings, a collection of workshops, a collection of insights from various creators, practitioners.
The Gap in ADHD Treatment: Patchwork Approaches
[00:07:11] But I have yet to find an comprehensive like here is what we do from the beginning to the end with a client to walk them to some sort of certain outcome. [00:07:23] And it really does feel like that. [00:07:24] And let me know if you work with ADHD clients, the tools you've been given and taught, do they feel a little bit like patchwork quilt? [00:07:34] Try this and this little piece and that little piece. [00:07:37] I don't know about you, but for me, that has never served me well. [00:07:41] And really anything I've done, even when I look back to intuitive eating, there's a book called Intuitive Eating and there are 10 principles, right? [00:07:49] You walk through the principles, you do these things and that's going to transform your relationship with food. [00:07:54] That absolutely changed my life. [00:07:56] I went from binge eating for 10 years to now I have not binge eight for 10 years. [00:08:01] And that's because there was a system in place, an A to Z of hey, here's all the elements you need to address in order to have A huge impact.
[00:08:11] And there's nothing wrong with the tools, Right. [00:08:14] We're still going to probably use a lot of those strategies, tips, worksheets. [00:08:19] But the problem is what's missing underneath, because clients start strong. [00:08:24] I'm sure when you're with these ADHD clients, especially as an ADHD myself, I know when you get an exciting idea, we're amped up, right? [00:08:33] So your clients are probably buying in, they're excited about whatever you're working on, but then they go back to their normal life. [00:08:39] They probably are in fight or flight. [00:08:41] So they go back to their busy, hectic lives being very dysregulated. [00:08:45] They use it for a little bit, but then the new wears off, the hype wears off, the dysregulation takes over again. [00:08:52] They fall off from what they were doing.
[00:08:54] And then the therapist or the coach is wondering, ugh, what did I do wrong? [00:08:59] I hate that there's the word like compliance and non compliance with therapy. [00:09:04] Because I was looking up the definition and it says non compliance is the failure or refusal to adhere to rules, regulation, laws or internal policies resulting in deviations from established standards. [00:09:18] Like, okay, that is absolutely not what is happening, especially with ADHD clients. [00:09:25] As an ADHD or myself, I do think I have an extra little insight into what they're probably experiencing. [00:09:31] And I know many of you as clinicians, coaches, therapists, also have adhd and that's why you do this work. [00:09:38] But I know they want to do it right. [00:09:41] I know how hard they work. [00:09:43] I know they desire nothing more than to just do what they know they need to do.
[00:09:50] But. [00:09:50] But we know there's a problem. [00:09:52] And the problem is that dysregulation underneath. [00:09:55] So that is not a failure of the client, that is not a failure of the therapist. [00:09:59] It's really just a framework problem. [00:10:02] So that is the missing layer. [00:10:04] ADHD isn't just attention. [00:10:06] It is a nervous system that is stuck chronically in fight or flight.
ADHD and the Nervous System
[00:10:12] So research does show atypical autonomic nervous system function in adhd, which we have lower vagal tone, slower return to baseline after stress. [00:10:22] However, I understand I'm slightly on the fringes. [00:10:27] My thoughts and beliefs are off centered most times as a human being, I think, in all areas, but with ADHD as well, because a lot of people are looking at the research and taking it for its word 100%. [00:10:44] And I trust the research. [00:10:45] But what I don't trust is that these studies are factoring in the reality that almost every ADHD is in fight or flight. [00:10:53] How does that affect our autonomic nervous system function? [00:10:57] How does that affect our vagal tone? [00:10:59] How does that affect a slower return to baseline after stress? [00:11:03] Of course it's going to. [00:11:05] Yet we go, that's an ADHDer. [00:11:09] It's automatic, it's chronic, and it is inevitable.
[00:11:13] That's just part of the diagnosis. [00:11:16] That is absolutely not what I have seen. [00:11:19] So when someone is dysregulated, prefrontal cortex is functionally impaired. [00:11:24] The part of the brain responsible for prioritization, planning, logical thinking, decision making. [00:11:30] And we say ADHDers are bad at those things. [00:11:33] Are we? [00:11:34] Or is our brain in fight or flight? [00:11:36] And the blood flow has literally left. [00:11:38] It's now in our limbs ready to run and fight. [00:11:41] It's really interesting when you start looking at an ADHD or through the lens of dysregulation, which is number one, what you as a clinician, coach, therapist or social worker, what you need to do is start seeing your clients through the lens of dysregulation.
[00:11:59] And we'll talk about that more in a minute. [00:12:02] But when you're trying to build skills, you're trying to give routines, you're trying to give strategies to a brain that can't access a lot of its functioning, of course it's not going to go very well. [00:12:14] So adding more tools to a dysregulated system is like trying to have a rational conversation with someone mid panic attack. [00:12:21] Like, we know that makes no sense, we know it's not logical. [00:12:26] And that's really what I have found with dysregulation is it's completely illogical. [00:12:30] It makes us do things that make no sense whatsoever. [00:12:34] But when we're regulated, we can have that understanding of, oh, yeah, of course, that tool would be really helpful for me. [00:12:41] But when we're in dysregulation, we're not thinking as clearly.
The Importance of Regulating the Nervous System First
[00:12:46] So the first intervention has to happen at the level of the nervous system. [00:12:51] If you do not have that foundation with every client you work with, it's going to be an uphill battle, and maybe that's not even the right term. [00:12:58] It's going to be a cycle. [00:13:00] You're going to get two steps forward, two steps back, two steps forward, two steps back. [00:13:03] Of course, if that client is there, just have someone to talk to. [00:13:07] Cause they're struggling and they need someone to listen to them. [00:13:11] That's a wonderful thing. [00:13:13] But just like online content, where we see so much symptom content and people really like it, it's very popular, I promise I'm getting to a point Here, this will circle back around, but we see all the symptom content.
[00:13:30] Like, it goes far and wide to have so many likes, so much engagement, because people want to be seen. [00:13:35] They want to be understood. [00:13:36] They want to go, oh, okay. [00:13:38] The struggle isn't just me. [00:13:39] The struggle is not my personal fault. [00:13:41] There's a name for this, you know. [00:13:43] Oh, ADHD paralysis. [00:13:45] Yes.
[00:13:46] That's what I experienced. [00:13:47] Thank God I've discovered a name for it. [00:13:50] There is a stage where that's helpful, but I think it goes by very quickly, and we should be moving on from that faster than we are, because many people will sit at that stage, say, even of social media, of being seen, feeling heard. [00:14:08] Symptom content. [00:14:09] Yes. [00:14:09] That's what it's like. [00:14:10] Yes. [00:14:10] It's so hard.
[00:14:11] Yes. [00:14:11] I'm in it too. [00:14:12] Yes, yes, yes. [00:14:13] Okay, now what? [00:14:15] Like, are we gonna work to make it better? [00:14:16] Are we just gonna sit and slap labels on everything we're experiencing and further our identity as an ADHDer who can't do anything about it? [00:14:26] This is just how it is. [00:14:27] The symptom vocabulary for adhd, I think, does hurt more than help in the long run. [00:14:34] But I get it. [00:14:34] There's a place for it upfront, so there is a place for supporting our clients in, hey, this is not your fault. [00:14:42] This is not a personal failing.
[00:14:43] You are not alone. [00:14:44] This is actually all very normal. [00:14:48] And now would you like to make it better? [00:14:50] Right. [00:14:50] We want to move to that. [00:14:51] Like, okay, now a lot of what you're experiencing is actually being in fight or flight, and we can improve that. [00:14:58] We want to move to that a little bit more quickly, because if we're sitting with a client endlessly going, yes, it's so hard. [00:15:04] Yes, it's so hard. [00:15:05] This is what that symptom's called.
[00:15:07] This is just adhd. [00:15:08] We are putting them and solidifying them into a box every single session. [00:15:15] Again, I know this is off center. [00:15:17] This is a little bit on the fringe, but I don't think telling ADHDers that's just a symptom. [00:15:24] Here's the name for that symptom. [00:15:26] It's just how it is. [00:15:27] It's part of the equation is helping, and that's what I have to do with a lot of my clients, depending how long they've been diagnosed, probably every ADHD you see is going to have been in the ADHD online world for a while, depending how long they've been there. [00:15:42] We kind of have to retrain the brain to see things differently, because at first they are Thinking, yeah, but isn't that this symptom when I'm talking about being in Fight or Flight, and we have to kind of redirect the attention and go, well, it's also a symptom of being in Fight or Flight.
Regulation as the Foundation for ADHD Change
[00:16:00] So we want to have the client see and you see that, oh, maybe it's not so concrete. [00:16:08] Maybe this symptom does not have to be here or at least not be here as heavily when we get out of Fight or Flight. [00:16:16] All right, at the end of the episode, I am going to talk a little bit about how can you get your regulation goggles on and how can you get clients to put their regulation goggles on so you can both start seeing the symptoms and the experience through that lens, because that is the first step in this process. [00:16:33] But first, I wanted to share what changes when we work at the level of regulation? [00:16:36] Like, what could you expect? [00:16:38] Because right now, if you are in kind of the old school world of tips, tricks and strategies, we don't really know what's possible. [00:16:47] Right. [00:16:47] Because we might not have seen a lot of progress with clients. [00:16:50] So I want you to see what changes can actually happen. [00:16:55] The type of regulation I teach and the type of regulation that's in the ADHD regulation method is overall, what is your baseline state? [00:17:04] We want to work on that.
[00:17:06] So most ADHDers are going to be in a baseline state of dysregulation, Meaning I wake up in the morning, I open my eyes. [00:17:13] Yep, I'm overwhelmed already. [00:17:15] I'm already frantic. [00:17:16] I. [00:17:16] Ugh, I'm dreading the day ahead. [00:17:19] It feels so big and heavy. [00:17:21] And we want to shift that so that the baseline they're functioning at is, I'm regulated, I'm safe, I'm okay, I'm present, and I'll get dysregulated, but I'm overall functioning from a regulated state. [00:17:33] Most regulation work with adhd because, of course, this is not unheard of.
[00:17:37] People talk about regulation with adhd, but they often talk about what I call whack a mole regulation. [00:17:44] Oh, you feeling very dysregulated? [00:17:46] Let's do something to hit it over the head, knock it back down and carry on. [00:17:50] But it's like management of it instead of healing of it, and we want to heal it. [00:17:55] So from that regulated state, everything else you already do with your clients will work better and last longer. [00:18:01] So, for example, I have a calendar strategy I use, and I'm going into my fifth year of using it. [00:18:08] When does that happen? [00:18:10] Not when I was dysregulated. [00:18:12] That's for sure. [00:18:12] So if you feel like.
[00:18:14] You know what? [00:18:14] I really love the approach I use with my ADHD clients. [00:18:17] It just doesn't seem to be having a profound, lasting effect. [00:18:21] Well, get them regulated first and then the amazing other tools you use will be so impactful. [00:18:27] They will have the bandwidth to do it, they'll have the clarity to implement it, they won't be so overwhelmed. [00:18:33] So it's really going to make a huge difference. [00:18:37] All right, so I wanted to share about one example client and kind of what happened. [00:18:42] So the client came in feeling completely trapped, not getting enough done to feel like she could rest or slow down, but so dysregulated that she was stuck in avoidance. [00:18:52] And this is what I see time and time again, this cycle of I'm too guilty to truly relax because I haven't gotten enough done, but I'm so overwhelmed that I'm not getting anything done.
[00:19:01] And round and round we go. [00:19:03] So the cycle looked like that pretty traditional frantic crash cycle. [00:19:07] And previous efforts had gone into trying harder. [00:19:10] So they had tried general therapy, you know, just talking to somebody, ADHD coaching, the tips, the hacks, and it really was worsening the cycle, not breaking it. [00:19:19] They noticed, like, inside their body, nothing was changing. [00:19:23] Maybe they do something a little bit differently for a while, but the internal experience, you know, nothing was shaking it up or making it different. [00:19:32] So the first hurdle with this approach isn't compliance. [00:19:35] Like I said, what a nasty word.
[00:19:38] But it is buy in. [00:19:40] And we get that buy in by working through the very logical and understandable resistance. [00:19:44] Like, but I have to get more done first, then I can slow down, then I can do this work. [00:19:49] So this approach gives the clinical reasoning for why regulating first actually increases productivity and quality of life. [00:19:56] And so we need to explain that to clients and that reasoning, and that's what got her started. [00:20:02] I really love analogies because that can help us and clients understand the concept because it can be really counterintuitive, this work. [00:20:09] So with this client, I was sharing how, you know, the harder we work is like putting pedal to the metal in a car. [00:20:16] You are pushing that gas so hard that the wheels are spinning around in the mud.
[00:20:21] And you're digging yourself deeper and deeper. [00:20:23] Like, you are trying as hard as you possibly can, yet you're not going anywhere. [00:20:27] So we think, well, this much effort doesn't make things move. [00:20:31] I must need to exert more effort, right? [00:20:34] More intensity, more dysregulation, more franticness. [00:20:38] So she's pushing more and more and more, more, more but you explain like, well, that's digging you further into the mud. [00:20:45] What we need to do is actually loosen off that gas pedal, right? [00:20:49] Lighten the pressure. [00:20:51] Then the wheels can get a little bit of a grip on the road. [00:20:54] We'll get out of that mud and start going down the road, getting some momentum.
[00:21:00] It's not frantic, it's not out of control. [00:21:02] You're not slipping all over the road. [00:21:04] It's just a nice, consistent, steady drive. [00:21:07] That is a great analogy for when people are thinking, you know, I can't try less hard because I'm already struggling and I'm already falling behind. [00:21:15] So it's this counterintuitive thing that can be difficult. [00:21:18] But once people get it, it can be quite freeing. [00:21:21] It's like, oh my God, I don't have to work so hard. [00:21:24] That sounds great.
Identifying Barriers to Regulation and Change
[00:21:26] So she started by slowing down physically. [00:21:28] That's always the first piece and that's uncomfortable. [00:21:30] And it surfaced a lot of beliefs that she didn't know she was holding. [00:21:34] Like, I can't rest until my to do list is done. [00:21:37] Perfectionism in why she was avoiding things, because perfectionism is a symptom of dysregulation. [00:21:44] But perfectionism is not the sense of doing things perfectly in reality. [00:21:49] But it's being stuck in all or nothing. [00:21:51] Like, if I can't do this perfectly, I won't even bother at all.
[00:21:55] So she was stuck in that a lot when she was trying to get going. [00:21:59] So a lot of her barriers to task initiation were not the inability, they were the belief systems keeping her in the dysregulation cycle. [00:22:07] And that is what I find with this work. [00:22:09] There's the physical regulation piece. [00:22:11] It's quite small because it's simple, right? [00:22:13] We have to keep working at it. [00:22:14] It's not easy, but it's simple in learning it and understanding it. [00:22:20] But the mind piece of all of our belief systems and our thoughts, that's a complex little world in there. [00:22:26] So it does take a little bit more of our focus.
[00:22:29] But I love that work and clients seem to love it too. [00:22:32] Like, oh my God, of course, I never realized, you know, I was thinking that when I went to go do the laundry or whatever it is. [00:22:39] Cause a lot of it's subconscious. [00:22:42] So after working through these, she reported it was now easier to just do the thing. [00:22:47] And I love that. [00:22:48] And I've actually heard that quite a few times. [00:22:50] Oh, I can just do the thing. [00:22:53] It doesn't matter what it is.
[00:22:54] So much less friction, so much more freedom, so much less intensity. [00:22:58] So everything doesn't feel so hard because this work gets the friction out of the way at the level of the nervous system, thoughts and behavior. [00:23:06] All of those things need to be worked on together in order to create a new baseline of your client's nervous system. [00:23:15] So she also reported enjoying daily life more, and instead of trying to rush to get the day over with, she's more present in it. [00:23:21] And that's really the outcome I see as a real measure of this work and a real exciting part of this work. [00:23:27] I remember one client told me I did more with my husband this weekend than I have in years. [00:23:33] Because what's so cool about regulation as well is that when you get the system out of fight or flight, it is like patching a bunch of holes in a bucket. [00:23:44] Like, you are not draining all this energy.
[00:23:47] It's not pouring out all the sides. [00:23:50] You're preserving the energy. [00:23:51] So now I have some energy to do some stuff with my life, to actually engage in my personal life, to go after hobbies and do things that I love. [00:24:01] So, yes, you'll have more energy for work, be more productive. [00:24:04] Then you also have more energy for life. [00:24:07] And that's really why I started all this work, is because we ADHDers deserve to have a good, rich life, you know, all day and all week. [00:24:15] What is so cool about regulation work is that once you see it, you can't unsee it. [00:24:20] This is why I really love this approach with ADHD clients.
[00:24:24] Because tools are great, that calendar system makes so much sense. [00:24:28] It really is handy. [00:24:29] We love it. [00:24:30] But it's not like sticking with you for the rest of your life. [00:24:35] Very easy to forget that exists and carry on. [00:24:37] But with regulation work, once you see the dysregulation in your own body and mind, once you start working on regulating it, oh, my gosh, it's like that skill is now embedded in you for the rest of your life. [00:24:50] So. [00:24:50] So clients go through this process and start thinking in terms of regulation and dysregulation rather than ADHD labels that feel fixed and unchangeable.
Seeing Clients Through the Lens of Regulation
[00:24:59] And this is the piece where I really wanted to provide something for you, actionable as you move forward. [00:25:05] So, as the clinician, I would love you. [00:25:10] You don't have to even say anything. [00:25:11] You don't have to do anything different with clients at this point, but just in your own mind, start observing your ADHD clients and even your other clients. [00:25:21] This approach truly works for everyone. [00:25:23] It's just very profound for ADHDers because we're almost all in fight or flight. [00:25:28] So you want to look at them, just observe what they're sharing, observe what they're saying, observe kind of how they're being and go, oh, where could I see the dysregulation here? [00:25:41] And I do have a quick, simple PDF you can grab in the show notes of how to spot a dysregulation in your ADHD clients. [00:25:49] But this is going to look like impatience, rushing, maybe they are talking exceptionally fast, thinking they need to do everything at once, expressing anxiety, rumination, even urgency in how they want to fix things, like, how do I make this, you know, have this discomfort or have this problem? [00:26:10] What's the fastest, biggest way we could change this? [00:26:13] That's what a dysregulated system is going to desire.
[00:26:17] We want big, fast change. [00:26:19] We're in a rush to make it. [00:26:21] And that's going to be another sign. [00:26:23] You can also observe, like, behavioral signs if they have compulsive behavior that they're discussing. [00:26:29] So, like, oh, I scroll so much and I can't stop even if I wanted to. [00:26:33] I'm avoiding, I don't want to avoid. [00:26:35] I would love to sit down and do my work, but I can't even if I want to. [00:26:40] I, you know, substance use, that's compulsive, compulsive eating, compulsive spending, all of these things are signs of dysregulation.
[00:26:50] So there's a little bit more in the PDF and then you can have this on hand. [00:26:54] But this is to start strengthening what I call your dysregulation goggles or your regulation goggles. [00:27:00] Oh, I'm starting to see you through the lens of someone who might be in fight or flight. [00:27:04] How does that make me see you differently? [00:27:07] How does that make me approach your symptoms differently? [00:27:10] And then from there, once you start seeing it, I would really do that first, without even saying anything to anybody, just start getting that familiarity inside your own self. [00:27:20] And then you can start doing this work or expressing with clients, like, about dysregulation. [00:27:26] But my gosh, wouldn't you see it? [00:27:28] You can't unsee it. [00:27:29] So that's what's really cool too, is this will be a skill you will have for the rest of your life. [00:27:34] Especially if, if you do this work for a while where, you know, even in me, I just see dysregulation in everybody.
[00:27:42] Not because, you know, I'm biased and I put it places where it's not. [00:27:46] But we are all human beings, and you know what, we like to think human beings are so evolved, we're so complex. [00:27:54] We are just a bunch of scared little animals afraid and trying to keep ourselves safe. [00:27:59] So, you know when you see that guy flinging through traffic, trying to get ahead, I go, oh, you sweet dysregulated person. [00:28:07] Someone in a rush behind you, someone who's very irritable, someone who's very short. [00:28:12] Oh, you are in fight or flight. [00:28:14] You are dysregulated. [00:28:16] And that's not in a condescending way.
[00:28:18] It's in a like, oh, I really get you. [00:28:21] You're gonna be so much more understanding of people. [00:28:23] You're gonna be so much more gracious. [00:28:25] Doesn't mean you put up with bad behavior, but you get it. [00:28:28] You're like, I see what's happening here. [00:28:30] And that is going to make you a much better clinician for all of your clients, because we all have nervous systems. [00:28:35] And I promise you, it's 20, 26. [00:28:37] I bet every single one has some elements of dysregulation in them.
[00:28:40] I bet you do too. [00:28:42] So that's what's really cool, is when you start doing this work with your clients, you can also do it with yourself. [00:28:49] That is what I have done in this work is worked, you know, my own regulation while helping others. [00:28:56] And it is so powerful on both sides. [00:28:59] So this week, really start looking at your ADHD clients and all your clients and all human beings through a dysregulation lens. [00:29:07] I'm really interested to notice what you find. [00:29:09] Grab that PDF in the show notes. [00:29:12] When you do get the PDF, I am going to add you to the kind of wait list for my ADHD certification program.
[00:29:19] But what that's just going to give you is a way to keep up to date with any information about ADHD regulation method for clinicians. [00:29:26] So I have a private podcast that will be coming out in the next few months and that way you'll be in the know. [00:29:31] And I will also be doing a live training in September for clinicians. [00:29:36] So when you grab this free guide, you'll also be informed of those things. [00:29:41] So if this resonated, share it with a colleague who works with ADHD clients. [00:29:45] This episode, I really hope, goes far and wide for people supporting ADHDers. [00:29:50] My real mission is for this to become so normal in ADHD treatment that when someone gets their diagnosis, the first thing everyone knows to do is to help them get out of fight or flight. [00:30:02] If a doctor gives an ADHD diagnosis, they're going to go, okay, great.
[00:30:05] So now the first thing you're going to do is get regulated. [00:30:08] Here's some resources in our area of how to get support because without it, honestly, we are working so hard for very little to happen with these clients. [00:30:21] So I'm so excited to finally be teaching this approach to other clinicians that, as I mentioned, will kick off in September with a free live training and private podcasts will be coming before that just to give you more insights, more tools, more strategies to use with your clients. [00:30:38] So grab that PDF and we will see you next week. [00:30:46] It.